Dorothy Leeds

As the title makes obvious, this is one of those business targeted self help books, a genre that I generally do not find to compelling. In many ways, this book suffered from the flaws that make that genre unappealing to me. It was anecdote driven rather than data driven, tended to be wordy, and had a rather tedious chapter on applying the power of questions to sales.

But despite all that, the book had a lot of valuable content, and for that content I upped what would generally be a 2/5 to a 3/5 (on my scale, that means that this book is average for books that have already passed my initial filters). Leeds clearly knows her stuff, and I probably would highly enjoy taking one of her seminars. As seems to generally be the case, the skills that make someone a valuable teacher do not make you a good writer, but the core content of this book is solid. I have started writing down valuable quotes when I read, and I probably averaged 1 quote every 2-3 pages for the first half of the book (the second half was mostly about applying the first half to sales and parenting, neither of which is particularly useful to me).

The first half of the book, the useful half, consists of an introductory chapter followed by a chapter discussing in detail the seven powers of questions. I'll just list those powers:
- Questions demand answers. People generally feel compelled to answer when they are asked questions.
- Questions stimulate thinking. Both asking and answering questions require thought and break people out of autopilot.
- Questions give us valuable information.
- Questions put you in control by providing a way to guide a conversation.
- Questions get people to open up. People love to tell about their life and interests, and that sharing leads to deeper relationships. Questions can be used to encourage someone to talk.
- Questions lead to quality listening. When you ask questions, you are more invested in what the other person is saying and will listen better.
- Questions get people to persuade themselves. When people present ideas in their own words, they take ownership of that idea.

Leeds gave a illustrative example of how to use the last power. She had once talked to a manager about helping create a training program for people in his organization. When they met again, he had changed his mind. Instead of asking him why he had changed his mind, she asked what had excited him about the program in the first place. The former question would have just cemented his decision not to build a program. The later question reminded him what was good about it and did so much more persuasively than if Leeds had told him the exact same things.

If you want a book on asking better questions, this one can be valuable if you're willing to look past the business speak. I certainly got a lot out of it.… (mais)