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Stepping Stones: A Memoir of Addiction, Loss, and Transformation

de Marilea C. Rabasa

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Addiction is a stealth predator. Unrecognized, it will grow and flourish. Unchecked, it destroys. Marilea Rabasa grew up in post-WWII Massachusetts in a family that lived comfortably and offered her every advantage. But they were also haunted by closely guarded family secrets. Alcoholism reached back through several generations, and it was not openly discussed. Shame and stigma perpetuated the silence. And Marilea became part of this ongoing tragedy. From an unhappy childhood to a life overseas in the diplomatic service to now, living on an island in Puget Sound, Stepping Stones chronicles Marilea's experiences, weaving a compelling tale of travel, motherhood, addiction, and heartbreaking loss. The constant thread throughout this story is the many faces and forms of addiction, phantoms that stalk her like an obsessed lover. What, if anything, will free her of the masks she has worn all her life? An inspiring, poignant recovery story, Stepping Stones tells how Marilea took on the demons that plagued her all her life-and defeated them.… (mais)
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Marilea Rabasa’s memoir Stepping Stones is a brutally honest glimpse into the life of a woman afflicted with multiple addictions— food and alcohol. Her memoir is structured in a series of short vignettes which slowly and effectively reveal a childhood where she felt abandoned by a mother whom she feels did not “see” her or recognize her needs. This underlying mother-daughter conflict becomes a major theme in her story. She then goes on to fall in love with a man whose job as a foreign service officer takes her to politically unstable countries which often puts her family in danger. Though she loves traveling to different countries, he is emotionally unavailable to her, repeating her cycle of seeking relationships with a man who is not available to her. Her addictions escalate as she becomes more proficient at hiding her habits.

Her descriptions of the various countries are vivid and colorful. As a reader, I felt like I was right there with her both in the scenic details she presents and the gripping honesty of the toxic nature of her addictions.

She eventually realizes that this relationship is not serving her needs and files for divorce. It is here where we see her coming full circle back to herself. She is able to find forgiveness toward her mother and herself. Therein lies the transformational aspect of writing memoir.

A satisfying, graphic and engaging read about one woman’s journey to peace and healing from addiction. I admire this author’s courage in telling her painful story so eloquently. I highly recommend this memoir for anyone who has felt emotionally abandoned and finds her way back home again. ( )
  kathleen.pooler | Jun 18, 2020 |
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Addiction is a stealth predator. Unrecognized, it will grow and flourish. Unchecked, it destroys. Marilea Rabasa grew up in post-WWII Massachusetts in a family that lived comfortably and offered her every advantage. But they were also haunted by closely guarded family secrets. Alcoholism reached back through several generations, and it was not openly discussed. Shame and stigma perpetuated the silence. And Marilea became part of this ongoing tragedy. From an unhappy childhood to a life overseas in the diplomatic service to now, living on an island in Puget Sound, Stepping Stones chronicles Marilea's experiences, weaving a compelling tale of travel, motherhood, addiction, and heartbreaking loss. The constant thread throughout this story is the many faces and forms of addiction, phantoms that stalk her like an obsessed lover. What, if anything, will free her of the masks she has worn all her life? An inspiring, poignant recovery story, Stepping Stones tells how Marilea took on the demons that plagued her all her life-and defeated them.

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