You're Not Doing It Right: Tales of Marriage, Sex, Death, and Other Humiliations
by Michael Ian Black

Wow, I love that Black just says what everyone else just keeps in their head! It's shocking but a relief too! Everyone thinks like a jerk sometimes. We may not act on it but sometimes the thoughts are there! Black doesn't hold back, he just throws everything out for all to see! All his personal issues too! Wow, I could never be that brave!

He discussing dating, marriage (the good parts and the not so good parts), having kids, his parents, his childhood, death, and depression. There are so many other things too that just come up that happens to us all, that unite us, and he makes it a strange moment but also a funny moment.

How he can take something serious about himself and turn it around where the reader can find meaning in it for themselves without feeling put down or ashamed. He makes us laugh at him but not at ourselves. He is very good at that.

I thought this would be a funny book all the way through but I was wrong. It does have humor in it, that's for sure but it is also full of tenderness, hardships, trials, real life struggles, and live lessons. It's a book about his life and learning to be a good husband and father. I give him so much credit, many people do not work hard enough for a happy family.

I also give him credit for just saying things so openly. He tells us so much personal history and personal issues and thoughts. I have always thought he was a terrific comedian but now I see he is a man that is striving to be a better person at home too! I cheer him on! ( )

From my Cannonball Read 5 Review...

This is my first memory of Michael Ian Black:(http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/bc8caeb743/240-worth-of-pudding-from-greatest-comedy-sketches)

You may be more familiar with his work as one of the funnier talking heads in the VH1 “I Love the” series of shows.

Based on my love of his work on The State and his aforementioned VH1 run, I thought I would check out the audio version of his book “You’re Not Doing It Right.” I was not aware he had written other books until referenced one, but based on this work I might check one out of the library to read.

This particular book did not hold my interest that much, although I don’t think that it’s because it wasn’t well-written. I think I would have enjoyed it more as a written book, where I read a full chapter at a time when I had the chance, instead of listening in chunks a few days apart. The book jumps around quite a bit, and while that worked for me in other similar books, for some reason I wasn’t feeling it in this one.

As I mentioned, Mr. Black has written other books, so I’m not sure what was included in those. This one focuses a lot on how he met his wife, what their courtship was like, their marriage, and their intense fights. It’d be really interested to get her perspective on some of his characterizations of their marriage. He is not necessarily kind to himself (he seems pretty aware of his shortcomings) but still – I wonder how she feels about this.

Some chapters were just sort of meh, but many did really touch me, either with a lot of laughter or some pretty serious shit. His take on his dad’s death when he was a young boy was really interesting, sad and sweet, while his frankness about dealing with a colicky infant was refreshing, funny, and a little heartbreaking.

So what is it that kept me from fully connecting? Perhaps I’m just distracted (I’m getting married in a few days). Perhaps the way I listened to it didn’t do it justice. I can’t give it the higher ratings but I definitely think it is worth a read. And even though his delivery is fantastic, unless you’re going to be strict about stopping after a chapter and not in the middle, I’d say read the book instead of listening to it.
( )

This was quite funny and surprisingly touching (or sweet, or some other adjective like that). ( )

If you're at all familiar with Michael Ian Black's comedy, you know that he will say just about any awful thing you can imagine as if he means it with all his heart. This book isn't written by *that* Michael Ian Black. I mean, okay, he does in fact still say some horrible things as if he means them with all his heart, but there are also glimpses at the humanity lurking behind the statements, and the shared experiences that lead many of us to think the things he says out loud. (If you're not at all familiar with his comedy, and you would be offended by someone's account of dealing with their colicky newborn which includes the sentence, "I hate my stupid baby," you should stay far away from this book.)

The memoir travels roughly chronologically, from being raised by a mother who was in a lesbian relationship after her divorce (which he didn't realize for a while, since all adult relationships seemed weird and confusing as a child anyway), to his father's death, to his relationship with his wife-to-be, to having his own children. Occasionally he doubles back around to talk about his first experiences with girls or high school trauma at the hands of a bully. The book isn't funny; or I should say, it isn't always funny. There's the expected deadpan humor, but a lot of it isn't really played for laughs. He tells stories in which he clearly comes out the bad guy, often in the context of his marriage.

(Digression: I once saw Michael Ian Black in New York City, as we were crossing a street in opposite directions. I didn't say anything to him for two reasons: one, stopping in the middle of a busy NYC intersection is essentially impossible, and even if you could manage it, you'd be taking your life into your hands; and two, he was in conversation with a tall, blonde woman. I realize now it's quite possible the woman was his wife, which makes me glad that the circumstances weren't such that I could talk to him. It would have been very awkward to declare my undying love for him and suggest that we run away together in front of his wife.)

In looking up some information on the book before I was finished, I accidentally read a review (I try not to do this ordinarily) and the comments on it (an even worse idea). Several people took issue with an incident Black describes in the book in which he is arguing with his wife, and in their yelling match she brings up divorce (as he says she often does). He goes on to describe the fact that their daughter is crying in the next room, asking them to stop fighting, and that neither of them goes to comfort her because they're too busy being mad at each other. According to the comments I read, this makes both of them terrible parents. While I obviously don't think that incident should be held up as any great example of parenting techniques, who on earth hasn't gotten into an argument in front of their kids? Said some things that they regretted? Been too angry to calmly explain the situation to the child? Even parents who do explain are likely to sometimes do it in an accusatory manner that casts negativity on the other parent. And parents who don't argue at all often end up with kids who later in life think the world is ending if there's discord in their own relationships, or who just keep it all inside for fear of bringing about a conflict. The point is, you can't realistically win. Unless, of course, you're perfect - in which case, you should obviously be raising everyone's children.

So, in summary: Michael Ian Black sometimes hates his wife and kids, but he also loves them and is fearful he's not doing a good job in his roles as spouse and parent. In other words, he's just like everyone else (but without a filter). If you're the audience for this book, you probably already know that, so what are you waiting for? And consider getting the audio version, because you're gonna hear his voice in your head if you read it to yourself anyway, so why not *actually* hear his voice in your head?! ( )