the longest inane sentence contest

as the new president of this club, i have two announcements: (1) what is the color of your parachute? that has been the sole book club selection for almost a year, having been selected by former president WashingtonSquare and never replaced, is now replaced by the new book for study and comment, which is "The Mulching of America" by Georgia's own Harry Crews, which is a book about a door to door salesman who has worked for his whole life to beat his bosses record and with the help of his new found friend beats it and this theme is common throughout the world because even in china they are selling grass snippers and in africa's kenya they sell pogo sticks to replace the wearying energy needed to jump up and down in the watusi tribe, which gives them more time to read and understand things outside their tribe and (2) producing the longest possible runon sentence, punctuated only by commas, semi-colons, colons, dashes, dots, and commas, which will make everyone take notice and count their words of their messages thereby noting their mistakes in spelling and usage that they did not notice before and had to go back and edit them to make it right, but without noting (maybe) (o, and you can use parentheses, too) the theme wasn't exactly what you wanted and that is what this posting is all about, except to note that i am making Washington Square Vice President for Life because of his ingenuity in beginning this thing, but as everyone knows beginning something isn't the same as having it copywrited in your name and i have done that so i am president until i reelect myself next year and i think that is about all i want to say today, except to ask you if you can beat this sentence in the number of words, and still keep some sense of continuity going, and if you can not do this, do not feel you do not belong as part of this groiup, because i say you belong when you say you belong and no one can dispute me because i am now president and no one disputes the president without great difficulty in their lives occuring from thence forward, and so i will stop writing now because I really do not think anyone has the ability ((except maybe the new vice president-for-life) to beat the number of words and continuity of meaning posted in this wonderful scirpt, so now you can go and find a copy of Harry Crew"s "the Mulching of America" and dissect and discuss it upon this thread or make another thread (I love that word "thread," dont' you ... reminds me of my grandmother Nana Smith's great big ball of thread she collected and the long new thread she's taken from whatever source she got it and is knitting it into the ball thereby making it bigger and bigger so that when she died in early February, 1966, just a few days after my daughter Monica Lynn ("Sausage") Campanaro (nee Potter) was born just a few days down at the
Glens Falls Hospital in New York State, she had collected a ball of thread that, when measured in a tight wrap, had a diameter of about 54 inches and could be used as a replacement medicine ball if the local central school ran out of money) which would be all about the book, or about Harry Crews's work that is a plethora of base talent showing the rage of the southern-born (Enigma or
Alma, Bacon County, Georgia) white boy who is raised among God-fearing, hog-eating, shine-drinking barefooted people who talk funny to the rest of America and who have produced some of the best intellects (as many almost as has Maine) writing the literature of our country's heritage, especially of course our Southern heritage (which I think is more intact today than any other except maybe New Yawk City's if that village can be deemed to have a culture since its culture is culled from the myriad crockpots of the world).

LOL! Heh, I finally got it myself a couple days ago. Good job!

I don't understand what is happening. Is club not reading What Color is Your Parachute?. What has happened to WashingtonSquare and why do we have new president? Is this real club or just people making fun of people?

Actually, it's all a joke. It took me until WashingtonSquare's last post to figure it out.

I can't believe that after all these months people are beginning to question the seriousness and sincerity of the Hands Across the Sea Book Club's founder.

:P~~~~~~~~

I'm slow. REALLY slow.

What can I say, I've read too much stuff online that was similiar and SERIOUS.

What the...a coup? I never even heard of the book The Mulching of America, and I'm not sure about the watusis using pogo sticks, and why isn't anyone protesting the usurping of WashingtonSquare's position, when all he wanted was world peace and what does he get but a demotion to Vice President. Yeah, o.k., I'll see if I can find the Mulching book, but only from the library.

I have always been fascinated by your American political instincts: the lower the stakes, the more vicious the debate. Andyray, I am sure WashingtonSquare has met her equal. I also look forward to the discussions of The Mulching of America, which I am sure will vindicate your decision to stage a bush league coup and spare us from endless references to What Color is Your Parachute?, which I am sure would have been the death knell of Western civilization. It would have been a tragedy of immeasureable proportions to allow that sorry sort to have a stage. I'll hoist a couple of pints in your honor before final call tomorrow! You are clearly a giant among men.

There is very little reason to respond to someone who says they are president of the club without being elected, but there is a need to respond to those who would try to make my effort to bring World Peace by showing that the things that are the same about people are more important than the things that are different, although I am sure that there are people who have so many differences that it doesn't matter if they have anything that is the same, especially when someone decides that the best way to criticize someone is to call them a joke and try to make people believe that they don't really care about the things they say they are interested in, but might not be a real person, which of course is news to me since I have had to put up with people who try to say that I am not serious, just because they don't like my ideas or the way I write, but that doesn't detract from the fact that I have started a book club that has interested a lot of people who are eager to learn how they can help bring people together by showing that the things that are the same about people are more important than the things that are different, which is something that some people don't understand, especially those people who think that they can change the book club's purpose without the permission of the other members, especially the person who started the club and has worked hard to make it a success, which it can be now that we have a lot of members from different parts of the world, including Singapore, which is a country that doesn't deserve to be made into a joke, especially since we have a member from Singapore who is trying to learn more about how to bring World Peace by showing that the things that are the same about people are more important than the things that are different, even if he doesn't fully understand the reasons for picking What Color is Your Parachute?, which is understandable because he doesn't have the background that a certain president who selected the book has and who has found that What Color is Your Parachute? has a great deal of relevance to the world crisis we have because Mr. Bolles understands that there will be people who criticize someone for having ideas that are not the same as other people but that we should respect those differences and try to find things that will help that person fit in with the rest of the world and reach their potential, which is something certain people don't seem to think I have a right to do, and instead of talking about ideas, they make fun of me and act like I am a joke, which is funny (ha, ha) because maybe that person is a joke, which I wouldn't say about him because that would be a personal attack and the purpose of this club is to bring people together by showing that the things that are the same about people are more important than the things that are different, and the purpose is to make everyone fill welcome to discuss how great literature like What Color is Your Parachute? can help us understand each other better than reading some pornography about travelling salesmen, which has nothing to do with the purpose of this club, which is something that several people have already pointed out so I don't need to repeat it, except to say the only joke is that someone doesn't have anything better to do than criticize my writing style, which is part of my personality and not something that should be the same as everyone else's, which other people understand, except at the New School, where they don't seem to think my writing style fits in with their fiction writing certificate program, which is okay because there are lots of other writing programs in New York that are better anyway, including the one at NYU, where I will enroll as soon as I get a new job that will provide tuition assistance since taking writing classes will help me do my job better, not to mention helping me lead this group as the president, not vice president, because I was elected by the membership, which doesn't really matter because I started the club so I am entitled to be the president and nobody else seems willing to do all the work I intend to do as soon as I have time, except that job hunting and apartment hunting take a lot of time, which is not a joke, and which I don't enjoy doing, which is not a joke, and which I am tired of doing while certain people try to make a joke out of me, which is not a joke but is just a statement of fact which someone who thinks he can make a joke out of my group should understand, although I don't think he ever will because he is too busy cutting people down instead of reading the agreed book and contributing to the purpose of this club, which is bringing people together by showing that the things that are the same about people are more important than the things that are different, which is not the same as making fun of people they don't agree with them about what is important and who might have an inferiority complex because they haven't started any groups that people are interested in, which is not a personal attack, but just an observation based on my experience as someone who cares about learning about people who haven't been as fortunate as I have been because I live in the biggest city in the country and get to meet lots of different people and where you can buy things at any time of the day or night because they don't roll up the sidewalks when it gets dark, which I bet they do where certain people live who have lots of time to try to destroy a person's efforts to being World Peace byshowing that the things that the same about people are more important than the things that are different, which is all that Mr. Bolles is trying to say in his book, which has sold more copies than some book about munching America, which probably isn't a book at all, but just something that a certain person made up because they have nothing better to do and maybe they can't even read important books like What Color is Your Parachute? or books from Singapore or other foreign countries that want to learn how they can help Americans bring World Peace, which is not inane and is not a joke and the person who started the club is not a joke and all I can say is that someone who thinks everything they don't agree with is a joke should stick it in their Faulkner!

okay WashingtonSquare, you win the longest, inane sentence contest. It just takes too much of my intelligence and stamna to beat the last one, althoiugh I bring in about 20 different topics than you do, and you simply harp on the same ones over and over. I am NOT giving up nor relinquishing my claim to priesident however. As of today, there are two votes for me (possibly three) and none for you. You haven't even voted for yourself! December 20th will be here and we will see what we shall see. At the beginning of the postings you said you were going to be in the New School and now you say it has not accepted you. What's up with that? I'd be interested to know why they did not accept you, but if you do not want to share, well, far be it from me to think or suggest that it is your long-winded insistance that the world is all wrong and you are right. You might tell us some more about your attempts to find gainful employment or rent apartments; those were the postings that nearly killed me. Happy Holidays and Have a Good Thanksgiving, Turkey.

#10 is close to being a personal attack, if not over the line. If you have concluded that this is all a joke, I suggest bringing a sense of humor with you when you contribute.

ah. i see what happened. the ever elusive comma. that last line on #10 should read: Have a Happy Thanksgiving Turkey (no comma). Otherwise, I don't see how it is a personal attack. I'm simply saying that if WashingtonSquare writes some more, I will be a happier person.