As I began reading this collection, I did not expect to be a sobbing mess about midway through until the end. Wow. The poems in this book are about an artist struggling to make her voice heard, but they are also much more. They are about a woman's love for a mother who made her the very person she is. So beautifully written and poignant. For words to evoke such an emotional response is pure genius. I dare anyone to read this collection without ending up with your guts wrenched and a pile of sodden tissues beside them.

I am very close with my mom. We do pretty much everything together and she really is my best friend. The thing is, we are very much alike and so have our little tiffs, but nothing ever changes between us. The best I can explain it is, we are soulmates. She is my confidante and cheerleader, and I hope I am the same for her.

And so, as mom marches closer to her seventieth birthday, I find myself facing the harsh reality that someday she just won't be here. I'd like to thank the author for reminding me what it means to love someone so much that when they go, they take a piece of you with them. I need to be prepared. I'll never be prepared.

(I received this book free of charge from the author or publisher.) ( )

In the 15 years since I lost my mother, I have yet to read something that so beautifully and tragically embodies what it means to lose your biggest supporter.

I do not normally read poetry, but Cristin O'Keefe Aptowicz's writing makes me want more. When her collection ended I did not want it to end. It was part because I wanted her to continue painting my own sorrow and because I wanted to read more of her art. It took me a few days to finish this book because the poem that is set at her mother's deathbed was so vivid, I wanted to sob...and well you don't do that when you are in the car. From there on out I read the book while holding my breath and tears streamed down my cheeks. And yet, also with a slight smile on my lips.

The smile was because for once, finally, I felt like someone truly knew the path I have been walking. Even the dates seems to line up to my own journey. The big difference was Cristin had to work through her grief as she prepared to get married while I grieved while pregnant.

I know I may be identifying too much to be a good reviewer, but this book blew my mind while simultaneously breaking and mending my heart. This is the book I have wanted to write the past 15 years. I consider it a gift that a review copy found its way to me. Thank you, Cristin.

I thought this was a nice collection of poems. I enjoyed reading them. Cristin O'Keefe Aptowicz really embraced the essence of love and loss of a mother. A truly heartfelt collection of poems. Some I liked more than others.

There is "My Mother Wants to Know if I'm Dead". Anyone who has a close relationship with their Mother can relate to this poem.

It goes like this:

ARE YOU DEAD? is the subject line of her email. The text outlines the numerous ways she thinks I could have died: slain by an axe-murderer, lifeless on the side of the highway, choked to death by smoke since I'm a city girl and likely didn't realize you needed to open the chimney flue before making a fire (and, if I do happen to be alive, here's a link to a YouTube video on fireplace safety that I should watch). Mom muses about the point of writing this email. If I am already dead, which is what she suspects, I wouldn't be able to read it. Any if I'm alive, what kind of daughter am I not to write her own mother to let her know that I've arrived at my fancy residency, safe and sound, and then to immediately send pictures of everything, like I promised her! If this was a crime show, she posts, the detective might accuse her of sending this email as a cover up for murder. How could she be the murderer, if she wrote an email to her daughter asking if she was murdered? her defense lawyers would argue at the trial. In fact, now that she thinks of it, this email is the perfect alibi for murdering me. Any that is something I should definitely keep in mind, of I don't write her back as soon as I have a fee goddamn second to spare.

Here is a little bit of the poem "On Getting Facials with My Mother"

Both of us trying to breathe deep, let go. Somewhere, years are being erased from my mother's face. She tells the facialist about me, her daughter, the writer down the hall. How we don't do stuff like this. How much we need it. After an hour, we're reunited. She looks beautiful: stripped down and glowing.

We put on our clothes and yes, we swallow hard when the cashier gives us the total, but we shake it off. We wear our new faces right into the sun, just like

we're told not to do. We can't help it.

The air feels too good, the future so bright.

"O Laughter"

O, Laughter, you are not forgotten.

My body is the jam jar you flew into.

You thought it'd be so sweet. You didn't realize it was made by crushing the most gentle of things. O, Laughter, Grief sees itself as a knife, carving out what needs to be seen.

See yourself as an ice skater, the knives on your feet. Sometimes the pain bursts out of me like a flock of starlings.

My throat releases everything but you. Laughter, be the slyest magician. Make me think it's easy work: this levitation.

I'll willingly step into the box, if you'd just cut me in half, spin my parts around, then make me whole again. ( )

My pals over at Wunderkind PR sent me a copy of today's book and asked that I give an honest review. Spoiler alert: I said yes. :-)

How to Love the Empty Air by Cristin O'Keefe Aptowicz is a collection of poetry which primarily focuses on her relationship with her mother (also a writer) and the grief she experienced after her death. Please don't think it's all doom and gloom and buckets of tears (although there is that too) because she also delves into the pockets of happiness that can be found amidst the overwhelming sadness of losing someone so dear. Cristin speaks to that part of the heart that is attuned to the people in our lives who get us so completely that even the idea that they might not be there pulls the air from one's lungs. From her poem "O Laughter" comes this gem: Sometimes the pain bursts out of me like a flock of starlings. Perfection! If I had to express this book in graph form it would be a steep incline immediately followed by a steep decline and finished off with a steady incline that disappears off the side of the page. Simply put, this is an absolutely lovely little book with beautiful prose and if it doesn't stir your heart I wonder if you even have one. 10/10

PS I'd also like to note that 1. I loved the finish on this book. It's like that velvety feeling that some books have and it was an absolute treat to hold it. 2. I enjoyed Cristin's book so much that I'm actively looking to read her other works (including a nonfiction book).