I have always wondered when reading a book that indulges in some sexual gymnastics or kink or whatever, just how much the author separates him or herself from the contents. Is the activity something they have experienced, always wanted to, frowned upon?

So when I saw this book mentioned on Julie Hilden’s bio on her column at http://verdict.justia.com/, a very interested blog related to court decisions, my eyebrows shot up and I had to scrape them off the ceiling. Hilden graduated from Harvard and Yale Law School and also holds an MFA in creative writing so the writing is quite competent. She writes frequently on First Amendment issues and I have enjoyed her columns.

I don’t know what to make of her book, however. It’s about a wife who marries Ilan with the understanding up front they will engage in threesomes. Following their marriage her obsession with him leads to all sorts of self-destructive behavior. This not the kind of book I usually read, nor like to read, and nothing in this book made it more appealing. I don’t enjoy reading about self destructive behavior; sex with guns and razor blades has no appeal at all and frankly, if I had my druthers, Ilan would be locked up. My wife is sensible enough that if I pulled a stunt like that she’d pull a Lorena Bobbitt. Billed as erotica; it’s not.

Hilden has also written a memoir (a Bad Daughter) which apparently details some of her less fortunate romantic choices. I wish this book had left me with a clearer picture of what a woman should not do, given the outcomes here. Her romantic adulation of Ilan struck me as bizarre. I’m no prude and would willingly indulge in all sorts of fantasies (well when I was younger perhaps, now I’m just happy to be able to tie my shoelaces and those velcro ones look appealing) but nothing that involved razor blades. On the other hand, I learned from a description of her memoir that Hilden carries the same gene that led her mother to develop early-onset Alzheimer’s.

But, maybe it’s just the rush to indulge in writing about S&M given the meteoric rise of Shades. I have no idea how to rate this book. Writing is good (4), content is totally unappealing (1). It would be a very interesting book to discuss with the author, however, so I guess a (3). ( )

Rejected title: Due To the Failures of Our Parents, We Treat Ourselves and the World with Needless Cruelty: However, the unusual nature of our sex lives justifies our existence by demonstrating that we feel things more strongly than other people and as a result are more fully human than you. ( )

This book is both beautiful, and disturbing. I will tell you up front that this is definately not for the faint of heart. Most of the depictions are extremely graphic, which makes the gut-wrencing scenes even more so.

There are two central themes here, and they are sex and obsession. The title implies that the central focus is threesomes, but this subject actually takes up a negligible amount of the book. Actually, threesomes are only the beginning. Soon, the intimate life of the main characters, Maya and Ilan, become more and more intense, spiralling into the almost fatal. Ilan wants to take Maya into deeper, darker places.

Despite how horrific some of this can be, what really has the most impact here is Maya's emotions, and her willingness, and even enjoyment, of letting Ilan do these things. At times the reader thinks she truly does love him very deeply, but at other times it seems as if it's only an obsessive dependence. You'll wonder if she does these things because she really wants to, or only does it to make him happy. Ilan's real feelings for Maya are always in question.

The story is beautiful, almost stream-of-conciousness, and the feelings Ms. Hilden evokes with her amazing writing had me enthralled. The emotional impact it had on me was amazing, and at times I found myself surprisingly angry and horrified with the events.

But for all the horror, it is strangely erotic, although I wouldn't call this an erotic novel. Because of all Maya goes through, it had me nearly praying for a truly intimate and caring scene between Maya and Ilan. And there are unnumerable sex scenes.

This book has so much gut emotional impact, and beautiful writing, but I would only recommend it for those who don't mind possibly being shocked or apalled. ( )