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Your Movie Sucks (2007)

de Roger Ebert

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272573,881 (3.61)20
Roger Ebert's I Hated Hated Hated This Movie, which gathered some of his most scathing reviews, was a best-seller. This new collection continues the tradition, reviewing not only movies that were at the bottom of the barrel, but also movies that he found underneath the barrel.From Roger's review of Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (0 stars): The movie created a spot of controversy in February 2005. According to a story by Larry Carroll of MTV News, Rob Schneider took offense when Patrick Goldstein of the Los Angeles Times listed this year's Best Picture nominees and wrote that they were 'ignored, unloved, and turned down flat by most of the same studios that . . . bankroll hundreds of sequels, including a follow-up to Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo, a film that was sadly overlooked at Oscar time because apparently nobody had the foresight to invent a category for Best Running Penis Joke Delivered by a Third-Rate Comic.'Schneider retaliated by attacking Goldstein in full-page ads in Daily Variety and the Hollywood Reporter. In an open letter to Goldstein, Schneider wrote: 'Well, Mr. Goldstein, I decided to do some research to find out what awards you have won. I went online and found that you have won nothing. Absolutely nothing. No journalistic awards of any kind. . . . Maybe you didn't win a Pulitzer Prize because they haven't invented a category for Best Third-Rate, Unfunny Pompous Reporter Who's Never Been Acknowledged by His Peers. . . .' Schneider was nominated for a 2000 Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor, but lost to Jar-Jar Binks. But Schneider is correct, and Patrick Goldstein has not yet won a Pulitzer Prize. Therefore, Goldstein is not qualified to complain that Columbia financed Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo while passing on the opportunity to participate in Million Dollar Baby, Ray, The Aviator, Sideways, and Finding Neverland. As chance would have it, I have won the Pulitzer Prize, and so I am qualified. Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks.… (mais)
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Exibindo 5 de 5
I needed some light reading while I was on vacation and I was missing Roger Ebert anyway (each time a terrible movie comes out my heart lets out a little pang that I'll never know how much he hated it) so I went back to this old standby. I enjoyed it less this time than I had in the past and I'm not exactly sure why. In some of the reviews he used some gimmicks I found annoying and even though he always prefaced a horror review by telling us that he was a horror fan, I never quite bought it. He was a fan of great horror movies, not of horror as a genre and there's a difference, especially when it comes to reviewing movies that are geared specifically towards fans of the genre. Still for my money he was one of the consistently great critics out there and I wish he was still around. ( )
  jobinsonlis | May 11, 2021 |
This collection of movie reviews by film critic Roger Ebert concentrates on the turkeys, the stinkers, and the flops -- as one might expect from the title.

Best taken in small doses, the reviews take unerring aim at miscasting, plot failures, editing disasters, and atrocious performances. It might better have been organized along those lines, rather than simply set up in alphabetical order by title.

Ebert also has a tendency to wander off-topic, at least when reviewing movies he doesn't like. Occasionally he devotes more words to the director's last hit or a better film with a similar plot than he spends on the flick he's supposedly writing about.

Quibbles aside, movie fans will undoubtedly find opinions they agree with as well as those they disagree with. Less avid fans of the cinema will at least have a list of movies to avoid. And pretty well everyone will come away with a favorite quote about badness -- "This movie is eye candy for the blind", or "watching it is like taking a bus trip with someone who has needed a bath for a long time". My personal favorite was "the mystery is solved by stomping in thick-soled narrative boots through the squishy marsh of contrivance." ( )
  LyndaInOregon | Jan 17, 2021 |
Roger Ebert's scathing reviews are hilarious. Even if I liked the movie he's trashing, it's fun to read his views. Battlefield Earth was a hated movie but for some reason I liked it. I don't understand why Ebert kept going on about how nasty the Psychlos looked. They're aliens, and they are evil. I'm sure personal hygiene ranks low with them. Otherwise that review was funny. ( )
  lesindy | Nov 1, 2014 |
Ebert certainly had a way with words and the movies he chose to review were extremely easy to mock...so in that sense it was very enjoyable. In another sense it was disappointing to find that Ebert not only brought relentlessly middle-American sensibilities, knowledge and taste to the judgement of these movies as though this was an objective measure he also indulged too frequently in mocking the film because it was not accessible or pleasing to people just like him. ( )
  mmyoung | May 9, 2013 |
I have been a longtime fan of Mr. Ebert's reviews. He is funny, brutal and makes sure that we don't waste our money on drivel churned out by the Hollywood. And he did the same in this book. Read this book if you want to have a good laugh and meanwhile consider yourself lucky that you are not working in Hollywood or it could have been you getting your ass reviewed somewhere in this book.

( )
  Veeralpadhiar | Mar 31, 2013 |
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Roger Ebert's I Hated Hated Hated This Movie, which gathered some of his most scathing reviews, was a best-seller. This new collection continues the tradition, reviewing not only movies that were at the bottom of the barrel, but also movies that he found underneath the barrel.From Roger's review of Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (0 stars): The movie created a spot of controversy in February 2005. According to a story by Larry Carroll of MTV News, Rob Schneider took offense when Patrick Goldstein of the Los Angeles Times listed this year's Best Picture nominees and wrote that they were 'ignored, unloved, and turned down flat by most of the same studios that . . . bankroll hundreds of sequels, including a follow-up to Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo, a film that was sadly overlooked at Oscar time because apparently nobody had the foresight to invent a category for Best Running Penis Joke Delivered by a Third-Rate Comic.'Schneider retaliated by attacking Goldstein in full-page ads in Daily Variety and the Hollywood Reporter. In an open letter to Goldstein, Schneider wrote: 'Well, Mr. Goldstein, I decided to do some research to find out what awards you have won. I went online and found that you have won nothing. Absolutely nothing. No journalistic awards of any kind. . . . Maybe you didn't win a Pulitzer Prize because they haven't invented a category for Best Third-Rate, Unfunny Pompous Reporter Who's Never Been Acknowledged by His Peers. . . .' Schneider was nominated for a 2000 Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor, but lost to Jar-Jar Binks. But Schneider is correct, and Patrick Goldstein has not yet won a Pulitzer Prize. Therefore, Goldstein is not qualified to complain that Columbia financed Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo while passing on the opportunity to participate in Million Dollar Baby, Ray, The Aviator, Sideways, and Finding Neverland. As chance would have it, I have won the Pulitzer Prize, and so I am qualified. Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks.

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