It's a good book, about dysfunctional families and about trying to create a better family/space for yourself. Dori is 17, leaving home to avoid the law after having participated in a hate crime against a gay boy at school. She decides to find the older half-sister who is estranged from their mental ill, artistic, evangelical mother. Her sister is Teresa, a high school teacher, married to Jen, and trying to become pregnant with their child.

That sounds melodramatic, and it is, but it also works. Good characters and writing. I like that the author brings up moral/ethical dilemmas, but doesn't tell you how to think about them. ( )

this is excellent. the writing, the way the story goes (definitely unexpected in many aspects), and the complete full characters. i really loved this.

reading much of this from dori's perspective - the point of view of the character who literally killed someone in a homophobic hate crime is a brave and effective choice. we see into her head and the times when she is remorseful, but also how she makes excuses for herself. we are witness to her arc of acceptance that she needs to face consequences for what she did, even if she doesn't really know why she did it or even if she didn't mean for it to happen. the incident with sugar britches is a nice parallel to the incident with owen, as she does something awful without really thinking about it or even, really, malice. i really like seeing her start to want to repent (in a much different way than her religious mother would) but not knowing how to do that, or if she could.

as for teresa's journey, which was completely different, seeing her with jen and sugar britches and in her life where she was out sometimes but not at work and seeing her struggle with her past and her fertility (and if she even really wanted a baby) felt like such a real and true look into someone. it felt so honest a depiction of a person and i loved her struggle with her memory of her mother and the knowledge that she only sees it from her perspective and not at all from her mother's. and what incorporating that truth might mean. (or not. she really mostly seemed like a shit mother.) but just that she was thinking about it and wanting to go there, for dori, was powerful and felt really real.

i really, really liked this. the writing is stellar, too. i thought i knew where this story was going, but it really surprised me. it wasn't as predictable as i thought - the writing would have carried it if it was, but it was nice that it was also not what i expected from the plot.

i hadn't been interested in reading her before, but i will definitely read more by her now. ( )

Dori is a trouble young teen living with her unstable mother when she takes part in a violent assault against a young gay boy. Her mother helps her to escape justice by sending her to live with her older sister, Teresa, a woman Dori has never met before, a woman who is not only a lesbian but in a committed relationship with her wife, Jen.

The Tender Grave is a beautifully written story that shines a lights on families, how they affect people and actions, both for good and bad. The narrative is split between Dori and Teresa and, in many ways they are very different despite their shared parent. Dori is impulsive and headstrong while Teresa rarely reacts without thinking things through completely. But, perhaps most importantly, Dori has been involved in a murder while Teresa is trying desperately to conceive. All of this may make it seem like a very dark novel and, in some places, it is but, overall, it leaves the reader with a sense of hope, that family isn't necessarily destiny and change is possible.

The story is left open at the end, leaving both sister's stories unfinished but that seems fitting here. This is the kind of story that makes you think long after the last page is read and I recommend it highly.

( )