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How to Keep House While Drowning: A Gentle Approach to Cleaning and Organizing

de K.C. Davis

MembrosResenhasPopularidadeAvaliação médiaMenções
5891239,598 (4.28)11
Home Design & Déco Psycholog Self-Improvemen Nonfictio HTML:An NPR Best Book of 2022
USA TODAY Bestseller

This revolutionary approach to cleaning and organizing helps free you from feeling ashamed or overwhelmed by a messy home.
If you're struggling to stay on top of your to-do list, you probably have a good reason: anxiety, fatigue, depression, ADHD, or lack of support. For therapist KC Davis, the birth of her second child triggered a stress-mess cycle. The more behind she felt, the less motivated she was to start. She didn't fold a single piece of laundry for seven months. One life-changing realization restored her sanity??and the functionality of her home: You don't work for your home; your home works for you.

In other words, messiness is not a moral failing. A new sense of calm washed over her as she let go of the shame-based messaging that interpreted a pile of dirty laundry as "I can never keep up" and a chaotic kitchen as "I'm a bad mother." Instead, she looked at unwashed clothes and thought, "I am alive," and at stacks of dishes and thought, "I cooked my family dinner three nights in a row."

Building on this foundation of self-compassion, KC devised the powerful practical approach that has exploded in popularity through her TikTok account, @domesticblisters. The secret is to simplify your to-do list and to find creative workarounds that accommodate your limited time and energy. In this book, you'll learn exactly how to customize your cleaning strategy and rebuild your relationship with your home, including:

-How to see chores as kindnesses to your future self, not as a reflection of your worth
-How to start by setting priorities
-How to stagger tasks so you won't procrastinate
-How to clean in quick bursts within your existing daily routine
-How to use creative shortcuts to transform a room from messy to functional

With KC's help, your home will feel like a sanctuary again. It will become a place to rest, even when things aren't finished. You will move with ease, and peace and calm will edge out guilt, self-criticism, and endless checklists. They have no place
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Mostrando 1-5 de 12 (seguinte | mostrar todas)
There are so many aspects of this book that gave me comfort. A lot of it is common sense, but when a person is overwhelmed for whatever reason, their common sense is unavailable. Many people struggle with self care and the inability to "keep house" at various times. This short book not only contains many suggestions for simplifying housekeeping duties, but also provides many supportive messages to help maintain (or recover) a sense of self-worth. ( )
  terran | Jan 2, 2024 |
This little book is a quick, easy read and sure to be the most personally relevant self-help book I’ve ever read. I found KC Davis via someone else’s IG account, and watching some of her TIkTok videos nearly brought me to tears. I have struggled with housework for *years*, due to both disability and work schedules, and needed this kind, compassionate counselor to tell me that household chores are morally neutral and having a messy house does not make me a bad person, along with numerous practical strategies for making my house functionally clean.

Many Amazon critics of the book complain that the book is too short or that the information is already available in her TIkTok videos. I’d respond by saying that many of us struggling in this way don’t really want to read a long book! Also, yes, much of material is available in her videos — but (a) I found several gems of information that were new; (b) there is value I having it organized and searchable (I read the Kindle version. Well worth the money, for me.

—-
Edited to add review of new edition, April 27, 2022

Today I finished reading the expanded version of this book, published April 26, 2022, by Simon & Schuster. I stand by my previous review AND recommend this revised edition even more strongly. Davis’s message that care tasks are not moral acts is reinforced throughout, along with a great deal of practical advice and compassion.

“Care tasks exist for one reason only . . . to make your body and space functional enough for you to easily experience the joy this world has to offer.” [ch. 41, loc. 1435]

This expanded edition includes new chapters on body neutrality and on equity in care tasks and rest; in the latter Davis provides a unique and empowering perspective on dividing household chores by making rest fair and equitable, rather than the conventions of gender or paycheck contributions. If I were still teaching, this material would be new required reading in my gender and communication courses.

Five stars again, with thanks to #NetGalley for this advance copy. ( )
  LizzK | Dec 8, 2023 |
This is not a book about housekeeping. It is about developing a healthy sense of self-worth for those who lack that.

In addition, this is very repetitive and far too long.

The author clearly struggles with caring too much about the opinions of others, and assumes everyone shares that same struggle, so that's primarily what she's addressing here.

Davis actually states that she doesn't believe laziness exists. Unfortunately, it does exist. There are those struggling with depression or other mental issues who need tangible help, and grace to accept their current limitations, yes. But there are also truly lazy (yet perfectly capable) individuals who make excuses for their behavior and don't need any more enablement. Lumping everyone together is not helpful for anyone.

It was frustrating (and a bit horrifying) to hear Davis advocating throwing in the trash virtually everything that's "too hard" to deal with. Dishes, laundry, you name it, she throws it away. Being kind to the planet is not a goal in and of itself, but rather, being kind to the planet is a way of being kind to the living creatures, including humans, on the planet. She didn't seem to get that.

The author includes some racist, classist, and anti-religious ideas.

There's a lot of profanity here, including God's name misused.

And while there are a couple actual tips that are helpful, they can be more easily found online.

Interestingly, Davis never really touches on the power of habit, which I think is helpful for all people. ( )
1 vote RachelRachelRachel | Nov 21, 2023 |
This is the most helpful book I've read all year. I highly recommend who anyone who struggles with organization, cleaning, motivation, procrastination, self-esteem around any of these topics, or just is exhausted or overwhelmed. KC Davis breaks task down in a managable way and tackleds difficult topics such as self-esteem and gender and familial expectations around cleaning.
Thank you for writing this book! ( )
  mixterchar | Jul 19, 2023 |
Everything in here is just so kind and important to hear. I have been drowning for a few years, and the compassion you show to yourself through care tasks is so vital to being ok. This is really a summary of all KCs TikToks, and I love that. Some advice is clearly for those with more resources but I think she handles that well. ( )
  KallieGrace | Jun 8, 2023 |
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This book is dedicated to my family.
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in February 2020 I had my second baby.
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My professional experience as a therapist had shown me time and time again that being overwhelmed is not a personal failure, but as most of you may know, the gulf between what we know in our minds and what we feel in our hearts is often an insurmountable distance.
In fact, I do not think laziness exists.
You know what does exist? Executive dysfunction, procrastination, feeling overwhelmed, perfectionism, trauma, amotivation, chronic panic, energy fatigue, depression, lack of skills, lack of support, and differing priorities.
They are unlikely to reach out for help with these tasks due to intense fear of judgment and rejection. As shame and isolation increase, mental health plummets. Self-loathing sets in and motivation vanishes.
You don't exist to serve your space; your space exists to serve you.
Internalizing this belief will help you a) shift your perspective of care tasks from a moral obligation to a functional errand, b) see what changes you actually want to make, and c) weave them into your life with minimal effort, relying not on self-loathing but on self-compassion.
As you embark on this journey, I invite you to remember these words: "slow," "quiet," "gentle."
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Home Design & Déco Psycholog Self-Improvemen Nonfictio HTML:An NPR Best Book of 2022
USA TODAY Bestseller

This revolutionary approach to cleaning and organizing helps free you from feeling ashamed or overwhelmed by a messy home.
If you're struggling to stay on top of your to-do list, you probably have a good reason: anxiety, fatigue, depression, ADHD, or lack of support. For therapist KC Davis, the birth of her second child triggered a stress-mess cycle. The more behind she felt, the less motivated she was to start. She didn't fold a single piece of laundry for seven months. One life-changing realization restored her sanity??and the functionality of her home: You don't work for your home; your home works for you.

In other words, messiness is not a moral failing. A new sense of calm washed over her as she let go of the shame-based messaging that interpreted a pile of dirty laundry as "I can never keep up" and a chaotic kitchen as "I'm a bad mother." Instead, she looked at unwashed clothes and thought, "I am alive," and at stacks of dishes and thought, "I cooked my family dinner three nights in a row."

Building on this foundation of self-compassion, KC devised the powerful practical approach that has exploded in popularity through her TikTok account, @domesticblisters. The secret is to simplify your to-do list and to find creative workarounds that accommodate your limited time and energy. In this book, you'll learn exactly how to customize your cleaning strategy and rebuild your relationship with your home, including:

-How to see chores as kindnesses to your future self, not as a reflection of your worth
-How to start by setting priorities
-How to stagger tasks so you won't procrastinate
-How to clean in quick bursts within your existing daily routine
-How to use creative shortcuts to transform a room from messy to functional

With KC's help, your home will feel like a sanctuary again. It will become a place to rest, even when things aren't finished. You will move with ease, and peace and calm will edge out guilt, self-criticism, and endless checklists. They have no place

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648Technology Home and family management Housework (Cleaning, Moving, Organizing)

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