A really interesting take on the mom's arranged marriage vs her daughters marriage to a HS sweetheart ( )

Nandini moved from India to the United States with her second husband; now, both their children are grown, and as soon as their daughter Simran is married, Nandini considers putting herself first for once, after spending a lifetime catering to the demands of her family and her husband's family. But Simran's engagement to Kunal goes off the rails as she, too, pushes back against others' expectations of how she should live her life. Simran visits her maternal grandmother Mimi in India, where she learns about her mother's past, and helps Mimi teach girls for whom education is so crucial.

Quotes

Because when it was happening with the right person, it was surprising and thrilling but also peaceful and stabilizing. It gave her a sense of freedom and belonging. It was all of the right contradictions at once. (Simran, 11)

"It is...to make something that educates a lot of people and then gives solace to those who went through it." (Neil to Simran about her book of essays, 27)

Nandini treated her past the way she treated the Atlantic Ocean. She visited often, even dipped her feet in at times, but always refused to be submerged. (33)

Classic immigrant mentality: take pride in putting up with difficulty. (59)

...a daughter is yours for so many years, and then suddenly, she's gone, belonging to another family, and there's nothing that ever seems right about it. (76)

'If you want to imagine what a woman's brain is life, imagine a browser with three thousand tabs open.' (Nandini quoting to Greg, 90)

...he's blissfully unaware of the corrosive damage that could come from people talking, how it can ruin everything you worked for, everything you thought you could become. (92)

"I won't let you threaten her future with my past." (Nandini to Charu, 98)

[Simran wonders] if there's a part of yourself you simply have to give up before joining someone else. (129)

Mothers lie. For her whole life, Nandini thought pushing Simran to do well, work hard, and have high expectations would guide her in the right direction. Instead, she was preparing her to be exhausted, overwhelmed, and confused. (136)

But she realizes that a lot of her life has been about ignoring rage and hoping it disappears, then learning it never does. (140)

"You see, most people eventually make peace with their lives, but that doesn't mean that things turned out the way they wanted." (199)

"You see, we all had to become scandals before we became ourselves." (327) ( )

I enjoyed this story of three generations of women. I love when family sagas show how one generation affects the next, and here we have the mothers' overt desires to make life better for their daughters, as well as the way their personalities interacted. Although it was a bit slow in some places, this is an engaging story about choice and family bonds.

I'm DNFing this. It's not a bad story, I'm just not enjoying it.
Simran is finally engaged to be married to her fiancee' Kunal after seven years of going out with him behind her parents backs. But when she meets one of her journalist heroes, she starts questioning her decision to become a psychologist & her future with Kunal. Meanwhile, her mother, Nandini, has been offered her dream job & is starting to realise she has almost lost her sense of self trying to make life better for her children.
As I said, this isn't a bad story. I'm just having a hard time getting invested in the characters & the story. Part of it is because I haven't experienced a lot of the issues Indian women have to deal with on a casual basis like crushing pressure from your inlaws, racism, casual or otherwise or arranged marriages. On the whole I did find it a bit depressing & since it had pretty much got worse by the half way mark, yeah.... nah. I'll stick with Chitra Divakuruni thanks :O)

I’m always excited when I discover a debut desi author and when I first saw this book being promoted, I instantly fell in love with that cover. And despite it belonging to the women’s fiction genre (which I don’t read a lot), I decided I wanted to give it a try. And here I am after finishing it in a single sitting because I couldn’t put it down.

This is essentially a story about a mother and her daughter, both trying to understand each other and themselves better and also trying to make the right choices for the next phase of their life. The writing in this book is so accessible and easy to get lost in, that I didn’t even realize how much time had passed before I even took a break from my reading. The way the author captures the feelings, emotions, guilt, self hatred, confusion, ambition, and so much else about these two women - (who are the products of a very specific Indian patriarchal society that burdens the women to give their all for the sake of their families at the expense of their own needs and desires )- is thoughtful and poignant and very relatable. To be honest, I was frustrated and angry most of the time while reading the book, not because there was anything wrong with the story or characters but because of the exact opposite. It was too realistic and I felt like I was being shown a mirror of my own life (and future) and those of many women I know, and I frankly wasn’t ready to face it. And I have to commend the author for getting such a strong reaction out of me.

You may be thinking why is my review so short which is kinda unusual for me, but as I said, this book was brilliantly written and was too realistic in a way that made me uncomfortable and I didn’t want this review to become a personal rant. If you are someone who loves reading books about complicated women, their dreams, fears, ambitions and relationships, then I would definitely recommend this book to you. I loved the message that sometimes, it’s important for us women to standup for ourselves and being ambitious or indecisive, both are okay. ( )