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That's Not What I Meant!: How…
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That's Not What I Meant!: How Conversational Style Makes or Breaks… (original: 1986; edição: 1790)

de Deborah Tannen (Autor)

Séries: Modern Scholar (018)

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713823,497 (3.88)10
Everyone knows the feeling: You said exactly what you wanted to, but somehow a different message came across. The consequence is feeling misunderstood, and relationships, at home, on the job, on a date, or in an interview, slip a little further out of control. Talk is the key to any relationship and conversational style is the key to any conversation. In That's Not What I Meant!, Dr. Tannen helps listeners recognize their own conversational style and understand the styles of others. Whether dealing with a person who's too quiet or someone who's a conversational bulldozer, learning to understand conversational style will help to deal with any situation. Through this understanding, it is possible to prevent small differences from sparking big arguments, really hear what was said and what wasn't. That's Not What I Meant! will give the tools to save any conversation or relationship.… (mais)
Membro:Elcentro
Título:That's Not What I Meant!: How Conversational Style Makes or Breaks Relationships by Deborah Tannen (1987-03-12)
Autores:Deborah Tannen (Autor)
Informação:Ballantine Books (1790)
Coleções:Sua biblioteca
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That's Not What I Meant! de Deborah Tannen (1986)

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» Veja também 10 menções

Mostrando 1-5 de 8 (seguinte | mostrar todas)
Inleiding tot de techniek van alledaagse gesprekken
  pwrtt | Mar 12, 2019 |
"We are, all of us, foreigners to each other: editor and writer, man and woman, Californian and New Yorker, friend and friend. Dr. Tannen shows us how different we are, and how to speak the same language."
Jack Rosenthal
Pultizer Prize winner and editor
THE NEW YORK TIMES
Deborah Tannen, who revolutionaized our thinking about relationships between women and men in her bestsller YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND, shows that conversational confusion between the sexes is only part of the picture. In THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!, Dr. Tannen shows that growing up in different parts of the country, having different ethnic and class backgrounds, even age and indvidual personality, all contribute to different conversational styles. Entertaining and informative, this is an essential complement to psychological theories of human behavior. No one who has read Deborah Tannen's fascinating look at women and men will want to miss a word of it! ( )
Esta crítica foi marcada por vários usuários como um abuso ods termos de uso e não será mais exibida (exibir).
  cdiemert | Jul 30, 2017 |
Does what it says on the tin. A somewhat interesting look at how individual ways of speaking can cause and exasperate misunderstandings in conversation. Only somewhat interesting because it reads like old news (it is, having been published almost thirty years ago--I'd guess that a much bigger section of the population has a passing knowledge of the information in this book today than did then--perhaps because of books like this) and comes off a bit bland and depressing. Despite the inclusion of some suggestions about how to overcome misunderstandings caused by conversational style, it's easy to come away feeling like you might as well not bother talking to anyone (which is not at all how I really feel about failures to communicate). I love linguistics and was hoping this would be a fascinating read, bit it missed the mark. ( )
  lycomayflower | Apr 30, 2014 |
I read this book through reasonably fast, and the only reason why I could do this, was because the book was written in a manner that is easy to read. The points that she raised are fantastic, and I could really relate to the examples that she gave.

It is a book that is well worth keeping, reading and absorbing.
There is not too much by way of strategies for improving your communication. Initially, I was a bit disappointed, but then I realized that this is something that each individual has to work out for himself/herself. The danger with many self-help books, is that they promise a lot, and recommend strategies that are often impossible to implement, because they are too generic. So, while she does give some broad recommendations, she wisely avoids making this a universal self-help book that promises the world, and does not deliver on the promise.

The lessons and examples are to be internalised, and practiced, if they are to work. That is the hard work that we, as readers, have to do! ( )
  RajivC | Sep 30, 2013 |
It should be retitled "it is a freakin' miracle we can actually communicate with one another." Tannen doesn't go into a lot of tips to solve our miscommunication. What Tannen does do is offer us clarification and awareness into all the various ways we think we are communicating but may not be and how to better understand all the communication styles we encounter. Excellent primer for understanding and awareness of basic communication styles. ( )
  revslick | Jan 24, 2012 |
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Informação do Conhecimento Comum em inglês. Edite para a localizar na sua língua.
To my teachers in linguistics:

A.L. Becker
Wallace L. Chafe
John J. Gumperz
Robin Tolmach Lakoff

who selflessly gave me the insights of their work to form the foundation of mine, even as they encouraged me to do my own voice, both within and beyond the bounds of academia
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You know the feeling: You meet someone for the first time, and it's as if you've known each other all your lives.
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Everyone knows the feeling: You said exactly what you wanted to, but somehow a different message came across. The consequence is feeling misunderstood, and relationships, at home, on the job, on a date, or in an interview, slip a little further out of control. Talk is the key to any relationship and conversational style is the key to any conversation. In That's Not What I Meant!, Dr. Tannen helps listeners recognize their own conversational style and understand the styles of others. Whether dealing with a person who's too quiet or someone who's a conversational bulldozer, learning to understand conversational style will help to deal with any situation. Through this understanding, it is possible to prevent small differences from sparking big arguments, really hear what was said and what wasn't. That's Not What I Meant! will give the tools to save any conversation or relationship.

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