Book club read. Enjoyed in parts. An account of growing up in Motherwell and the complex relationship with her parents, particularly her mother.

Deborah Orr was born the daughter of a manual worker in the Scottish steel making town of Motherwell, dominated by the massive steel works of Ravenscraig. She became the first female editor of The Guardian’s Weekend magazine at the age of thirty. Motherwell is the story of how she got from one to the other, and in particular of how her relationship with her mother Win affected her along the way. Win was a woman made in a very different mould to herself: a mother who believed that girls should stay at home until marriage and who didn’t see the point of University. A mother who was controlling, and whose attitudes and expectations were to clash again and again with those of her daughter. And a mother with who Deborah Orr never came to terms until the day that Win died.

On Deborah’s wedding day to the author Will Self (and there is clearly a whole untold and acrimonious story going on there) Win was still not prepared to defer to the bride:

‘No! You are Mrs Self now! You are Mrs William Woodard Self!’
‘Please. Let’s not argue about it now, Mum. This isn’t the time. It’s my wedding day!’
‘Yes! And on her wedding day the woman takes the husband’s name!’
From that day on, every time she sent me anything in the post it would be addressed, in bold capitals, to MRS WILLIAM W SELF. I’d ask her not to, sporadically. But she always did. There are mothers who will never cease to refuse their daughters their own identity, in whatever way they can. My mother was one of them.

Deborah Orr was pretty much the same age as myself, and it was fascinating being reminded about certain aspects of growing up in the 1960s and 70s. And our background had certain similarities: my grandfathers had worked in the coal mines and the fathers of some of my friends were steelworkers (although the actual steel works was in the next town to ours). But in other ways Deborah Orr’s childhood in Motherwell was totally different: insular, sectarian and with parents whose attitudes to female education and careers seem hugely old-fashioned even for their generation.

This was a fascinating book, but by the end it just seems that Deborah blames her mother just a little too much, blaming her really for pretty much everything that goes wrong in her life. Always her mother, never her father (although he clearly has issues of his own). It would have been a better book if the editor had made her cut down on the words narcissism and narcissistic, traits with which she seems a trifle obsessed. But well worth a read. ( )

All about the author's life brought up in Motherwell against background and impact of the steel industry and its decline and termination by Thatcher. The book focuses on the author's family relationships that do not run smoothly. Throughout there is an obsession about narcissism; the word and its derivatives appear far too frequently in my view. On page 208 it appears 8 times - basically summed up as 'narcissism is everywhere' and her mother 'lived in her own world, and she wanted me to live in it with her'. Seemingly minor episodes have a massive impact on relationships between daughter and mother and favouritism among siblings, There is no doubt that this is a frank and honest self analysis and that is interesting. However, from time to time I thought that mountains were made out of molehills and that families just get on with it despite all the ups and downs. I liked the portrayal of Scotland in the background as it underwent major change from the 1960s. ( )