I started reading this novel many years ago when I got to read an ARC excerpt. It was always on my radar to get back to it (and the author) and when it was finally available at my public library it got to the top of my TBR stack.

The main plot is of very driven fraternal twins, Adina and Tovah, deciding whether or not to find out after their 18th birthday if one, both, or neither have inherited from their mother the gene responsible for Huntington's disease.

I should have realized from that excerpt, but didn't, that this was going to be a very heavy, somber read on family relationships. One of the teens has a very destructive/manipulative personality which sets up some situations. I didn't really like that twin's character at all. But the story itself was intriguing.

I've ready several Rachel Lynn Solomon YA novels and loved them and enjoy her writing. I'm glad that the ARC of this novel put her on my radar in the first place. ( )

This felt a little bit too much like the intended audience was teens as opposed to I have written a book that happens to be one that teens would enjoy. Does that make sense? No. There were a few lessons that I felt like were in there to be lessons, to bestow wisdom on a younger generation. But I loved all the Jewishness, and this was a fun read. ( )

I liked this much, much better than I did "Our Year of Maybe." I felt like the--something was different. This was still a book about relationships (barely), reconciliation (not really), and illness, but told in a very different way. "Our Year of Maybe" had me just hopping mad: Had the author even -been- to Seattle or met a Jewish person -in- her life? I wondered, seething at the "I'm trying too hard and clearly out-of-town" portrayals of people the author tried to pass off as locals. I cracked a snide joke when describing the book to someone: I thought she based her characters off my Goodreads reviews, where I frequently point out I've lived in Seattle my whole life and am observant Jewish. I do this to prove a point though, and it's "I live here and your characters aren't convincing."
So, I thought all this about the author.

Having read this, which comes off as much more natural, I think I know what happened. This is her first book. The other is her second, and I think she was trying to write for an audience she wasn't confident about for some reason. Seattle locals don't mention it as an adjective ("he is dressed so Seattle" is often a descriptor when someone is wearing plaid, in RLS' book). And there are other, more believable ways to portray Jewish teenagers. Rachel Lynn Solomon did it in this book. This is the better book: everything seems more realistic, natural, and believable. She pointed out it's mostly overcast here, not daily rain. There's so little sunlight that the weather forecasters call it "sun breaks." I wondered once what other weather forecasters call it, and um, it's just called "sunshine" in other places. RLS mentions a drugstore near a movie theater in this book, and I know exactly where she's talking about--I've been to both of those places. Here, she writes like someone from Seattle, not someone who moved here three months ago and is trying frantically to fit in.

I took notes throughout this, so it might be repetitive and a bit disjointed.
I laughed a lot when Zack and Tovah went to a midnight showing of "The Room" and Tovah referenced "Rocky Horror". Seattle has had various monthly midnight showings of "Rocky Horror" for over thirty years. I went to them all the time when I was fifteen, and my mom performed when she was eighteen. She got to hold up signs, and when she told me, I thought it was the coolest. Back to this. I liked how the parents were written, and appreciated all the dynamics that took place. The way the twins related to each other before page two hundred of the book seemed really realistic, too. This wasn't about reconciliation, though. It was cutthroat competition that had taken over what used to be closeness. The cute closeness parts, though, resonated with me.

All that noted, there were definitely things I didn't like about this book. I haaated Arjun and Adina. It's totally normal for teens to have crushes on teachers. It is never okay for teachers to get into relationships with those students while still teaching them, especially when the students are underage. Teens, ask yourselves: why can't this adult find someone their own age? Why are they interacting with me in this manner, when they have life experience I don't? Arjun is the adult and he should have known better. He turned her down and -changed his mind suddenly when she was eighteen,- and it was creepy. Adina talking about ages of consent really creeped me out. Adina may have approached Arjun repeatedly, but there's a power imbalance. He could get upset and do all kinds of things if Adina ever questioned him. It's like dating your boss: your boss can fire you if you break up with them. I've never been in this situation and don't even date colleagues; I'm so distrustful.

And reading about an eighteen-year-old banging a twenty-five-year-old in a YA novel was both just plain boring and really jarring. It did nothing for plot or characterization and just took up space in the book. Really not impressed. Was RLS writing out a fantasy of hers she had in high school?
I laughed at the description of the school carnival and sang a song from "Grease," as that's what it reminded me of the whole time. That, and Nostalgic Woman's review of the movie musical. I delighted in the double-helix balloon part of the chapter.

Tovah initially gets deferred from her preferred college because (redacted), and is whiny about it. When a girl in a YA novel is deferred from her preferred college, I lose sympathy for her. Stop whining--"preferred" indicates you applied at other schools! And they're not rejecting you outright, so please stop. Plus, the YA character always has their decision reversed so they can start early at the school, by the end of the book anyway. It's a waste to write, and a cheap ploy for sympathy.

Adina attended a swanky party after a musical showcase and whined a lot inwardly about how her teacher was interacting with other adults and drinking, and she couldn't do either of those things. She initiated sex with her teacher at this fancy party to soothe her ego, and was shocked when he didn't cuddle after, instead preferring to watch New Years' fireworks. It's scenes like this that really highlight how immature Adina can be. In another scene, she's an enormous drama llama about the fact that her mom had a C-section at some point in her life. I was born at twenty-four weeks, and not a C-section. My younger brother was a few days overdue, but my mom's heart stopped while she delivered him. She's fine now. None of us make a big deal about it. I was henceforth furious at Adina's worldview, and had to set the book down for an hour till I calmed down.

After page two hundred, Adina abruptly turns into a full-on antagonist with homicidal and suicidal thoughts. I can't even comment. She "threatens" Arjun that she'll totally tell other students and parents that they're having sex, and is totally mean and scary, really. Arjun gets frazzled. She never tells anyone and Arjun keeps teaching. I hate them, and I hate them together.
I guess I could say this book was certainly an experience. It was barely about disease at all, the two sisters never reconciled, and--it was false advertising that I kept waiting to change. ( )

Wow, this was a hard book to read, but really well written. Chronic illness and SERIOUS chronic illness is an issue that not enough books touch on, or often when they do, it’s often with a very light hand. I really appreciated the way author Rachel Lynn Solomon handled this heartbreaking look at the effects of Huntington’s disease, and the decision by two sisters to be tested after watching their mother slowly get worse over the course of four years since her diagnosis.

Tava and Adira are very different. One, a musician, the other, an academic. One comfortable with her body and (one can infer perhaps partially because of her innocence evaporating at a young age) quite forward with men, which has bad consequences. The other, shy and awkward. The sisterly jealousy, even though both have their own individual accomplishments, is right on the nose. This book strikes all sorts of good notes, from first love, to devastating heartbreak, to the wretched loneliness of feeling you are trapped with no choices in a body that will slowly kil you, to the love of a family who despite its flaws never gives in. A must read.

Trigger Warnings: chronic and terminal illness, minors having sex with adults (age range was barely legal in that state, but still skeevy), thoughts of suicide, self-harm

Please excuse typos/name misspellings. Entered on screen reader. ( )

This is one I picked up from the new school library to read over the holidays, solely because the main characters plays viola and I'm just a little obsessed with that instrument, myself.

And I really loved how much musical prodigy Adina loves her instrument.

But not a lot else.

The novel begins "I used to think his touches meant nothing... then his touches started to linger… Today I will make it happen on purpose."
So it seems this is a romance novel - but we quickly discover that Adina and her twin sister Tovah (an academic overachiever) are awaiting the results of a genetic test; they are slowly losing their mother to Huntington's disease and have 50% chance of inheriting the disease.

So the novel spins around the twins' various reactions to their family situation and the results of their tests. Along the way we uncover back story of the conflict that divides the twins and the way this has impacted on the school careers and their friendships. That was the more interesting part of the story, especially when euthanasia was considered by a family member

As far as the romance is concerned, I found this to be a very disappointing account of a teacher-student relationship, with very little consequence for either of the characters. Of more interest were the references to the characters' Jewishness and the way this interacted with their diagnoses, but again, I found the handling fairly stereotypical and occasionally banal - it felt like an add-on.

Adina is not a likable character, but she does hold your attention, which is probably what kept me reading. The writing it self is mediocre: "The couch groans softly at his weight, and my skin sparks with electricity at his nearness. Many measures pass before he speaks again." - the description is relatively banal, but then there's a lovely representation of how Adina thinks everything in her life through music - time is counted in musical measures (bars, for non-American).

Torvah, on the other hand is an honours student who ticks all the boxes for a standard-sized honour studnnet (track, leadership etc.). I would have found most of her chapters less interesting than Adina's, except that she has a very contrasting way of dealing with her mother's illness (and her own potential illness). The dichotomy kept it interesting, even when I was less than engaged with the inter-twin conflict (which seemed to be resolved very hurriedly).

Overall, this is not a book I would highly recommend, even to teenaged girls who are into books about grief and illness - I think there are better novels around. However, if anyone is dealing with Huntington's in their own family or friendship circle - go for it. This is a theme rarely touched on in YA literature and it does give strong insights into the lack of understanding of this illness and the varying effects and onset of the disease.

Trigger warnings for inappropriate sexual relationships and suicide/euthanasia. ( )