Jake Denny has a pizza problem. Even though they are officially friends now, he still can't figure out how to talk to Kix Welty, the intimidatingly hot delivery driver from Pizza Joe's. Every time he tries to ask her out, he ends up rambling on about video games, kung-fu movies, or science. She must think he's the most boring boob on the planet. So when Kix stumbles upon a key component to an experiment Jake is planning, he seizes the opportunity to impress her. Unfortunately for everyone, his experiment works. The resulting twist in reality puts Kix into the path of a dangerous stalker and Jake in the center of a nightmarish web. Thanatos is thirty-two pounds of (mostly) Maine Coon cat. He lives upstairs from all this mess, and he definitely does not approve. Together, he and Pansy will set the Universe back to rights. They will conquer villains! They will avenge things! They will... Wait...who is Pansy?