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How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids de…
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How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids (edição: 2017)

de Jancee Dunn

MembrosResenhasPopularidadeAvaliação médiaMenções
925227,710 (3.65)1
"A hilariously candid account of one woman's quest to bring her post-baby marriage back from the brink, with life-changing, real-world advice."--Amazon.com."Many expectant parents spend weeks researching the best crib or safest car seat, but spend little if any time thinking about the titanic impact the baby will have on their marriage--and the way their marriage will affect their child. Enter Jancee, her well-meaning but blithely unhelpful husband, their daughter, and her boisterous extended family, who show us the ways in which outmoded family patterns and traditions thwart the overworked, overloaded parents of today. On the brink of marital Armageddon, Dunn plunges into the latest relationship research, solicits the counsel of the country's most renowned couples' and sex therapists, canvasses fellow parents, and even consults an FBI hostage negotiator on how to effectively contain an "explosive situation." Instead of having the same fights over and over, Dunn and her husband must figure out a way to resolve their larger issues and fix their family while there is still time. As they discover, adding a demanding new person to your relationship means you have to reevaluate--and rebuild--your marriage. In an exhilarating twist, they work together to save the day, happily returning to the kind of peaceful life they previously thought was the sole province of couples without children."--Jacket.… (mais)
Membro:ridan
Título:How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids
Autores:Jancee Dunn
Informação:Little, Brown and Company, Kindle Edition, 289 pages
Coleções:Sua biblioteca
Avaliação:
Etiquetas:to-read

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How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids de Jancee Dunn

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Exibindo 5 de 5
What a great book. I picked it up randomly from the new release shelf at my library, and I made it past the icky (“clickbait” if it were online) title to the Gottman blurb. Now I’m just trying to figure out how many people to gift it to. The four stars is for two big-ish things: 1) lots of data and quotes but no actual citations anywhere, and 2) the way that she talks about her husband. (This last is a difficulty I have with confessional memoirs that confess other people’s problems, especially those closest to the writer. See Glennon Doyle Melton.) ( )
  nicholasjjordan | Nov 13, 2019 |
Best for new parents but still relevant for those with older children - especially if you are fighting over who does what at home. Funny but filled with relevant info. ( )
  Rdra1962 | Aug 1, 2018 |
Recommended by Lauren B.
Read as an ebook via Overdrive

Quotes/notes

Give a mother a sleeping child for an hour, and she can achieve ten times more than a childless person. "Motherhood is really like being in an action movie that goes on for your whole life - but with all the boring, everyday bits left in." -Caitlin Moran

Ann Dunnewold tells clients who are stay-at-home moms that they are working seven days a week if their mates do not pitch in on weekends. "Federal labor law dictates that in an eight-hour shift, we have two twenty-minute breaks and a half hour for lunch. If you're sleeping for eight hours, you have two eight-hour shifts. That adds up to two hours, twenty minutes, per day that you need to be off. So how are you getting that?"

Ann Dunnewold again: "Both boys and girls learn that mothers have needs, too, which is also very important if they have children of their own."

John and Julie Gottman categorize couples as masters and disasters. Masters look purposefully for things they can appreciate and respect about their partner; disasters monitor their mates for what they are doing wrong so they can criticize them.

"Research shows that the more calmly we speak, the more calm we feel, and the more calmly others respond to us." -Laura Markham

[Kids want to help; don't reward them for helping.] The language you use is important, too: Rende and other researchers say it may be more effective to praise [kids] for being "helpers" rather than give thanks for "helping."

Kids and parents do chores because families are built on mutual obligations...Allowances are useful for teaching kids how to handle small amounts of money, but don't hinge allowances on chores. -Daniel Pink

For some new mothers, their sensuality is redirected to the baby - and, for the time being, "When they tell me, 'At the end of the day, I have nothing left to give,' I also hear them saying, 'At the end of the day, there is nothing more I need.'" -Esther Perel

A sampling of questions from the Gottmans' workshops: Should we have mealtimes together? Who will take care of the kid when she is sick? How should we include our relatives in our baby's life? How much television should we allow? How do you feel about the child sleeping in the same bed as us? Will religion play a part in her life? Write down three to five things that you liked about how you were parented that you plan to include in your parenting, and three to five things you did not like that you plan to avoid.
In what ways has our child changed our relationship? How do you think we could have more fun in our life? How have your goals in life changed since we had a child? What things are missing in your life? Who is your role model as a parent? What are your biggest worries about our future?

What you do every day, the Gottmans claim, matters more than the things you do once in a while. ( )
  JennyArch | Apr 2, 2018 |
Entertaining and helpful. ( )
  SarahStenhouse | Oct 18, 2017 |
I learned two things reading this: a.) great interpersonal relationship advice for dealing with all members of my family and b.) my husband is awesome. ( )
  bookwyrmm | Apr 11, 2017 |
Exibindo 5 de 5
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"A hilariously candid account of one woman's quest to bring her post-baby marriage back from the brink, with life-changing, real-world advice."--Amazon.com."Many expectant parents spend weeks researching the best crib or safest car seat, but spend little if any time thinking about the titanic impact the baby will have on their marriage--and the way their marriage will affect their child. Enter Jancee, her well-meaning but blithely unhelpful husband, their daughter, and her boisterous extended family, who show us the ways in which outmoded family patterns and traditions thwart the overworked, overloaded parents of today. On the brink of marital Armageddon, Dunn plunges into the latest relationship research, solicits the counsel of the country's most renowned couples' and sex therapists, canvasses fellow parents, and even consults an FBI hostage negotiator on how to effectively contain an "explosive situation." Instead of having the same fights over and over, Dunn and her husband must figure out a way to resolve their larger issues and fix their family while there is still time. As they discover, adding a demanding new person to your relationship means you have to reevaluate--and rebuild--your marriage. In an exhilarating twist, they work together to save the day, happily returning to the kind of peaceful life they previously thought was the sole province of couples without children."--Jacket.

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Jancee Dunn é um Autor LibraryThing, um autor que lista a sua biblioteca pessoal na LibraryThing.

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