144/2020. This is a book whose own internal meta-description of itself is that it was written on toilet seat covers stolen from a luxury yacht owned by a cocaine-smuggling Russian oligarch.

This is a story that wanted to grow up to be Scheherazade's retelling of Satanic Verses set during the Arab Spring but instead realised it's a USian self-help Find Your Inner Goddess manual grafted onto a high budget but low grade Egyptian thriller, a novel which has chosen to hide under an unnecessary 500+ page chador of words when it could have communicated more effectively in under 400 pages without the excess baggage.

Unfortunately there are also issues with this translation that detract from Ece Temelkuran's original Turkish text. As an English reader I can't guess what's missing but even I can see obvious problems with a translator who doesn't write English well enough to know the difference between his "honing in" and the standard "homing in", or his choice of "yellow wig" instead of "blonde wig", or his "bee" for what is obviously a "wasp", or the fact a "dark-skinned" character turns "white" in shock instead of "pale", etc. The translator, Alexander Dawe, didn't even care enough to google the title of a famous film so he laughably translates Little Shop of Horrors as "Little Shop of Fears".

There are passages worth reading in this novel but not enough to justify 500 pages of my time.

Quote

"When he puts his hands on his hips you see that spoiled behaviour particular to Middle Eastern men that can be enticing to watch but only causes pain if you actually love the man. Oh, how he is so very pleased with himself. He sees himself as a gift to the world. Ah! He deserves it all. So you see if you are loved enough you turn out like this. It was like every part of his body was alluring in its own way and with every movement he was reminded of the fact. Who would be the lucky girl? It seemed like he was lazily mulling it over. Or would he simply deign to grace someone with his presence? He's rubbing his belly and the girls are swooning. Telling arrogant jokes, he scratches his beard. And the girls are swooning. He hooks one finger in his back pocket like a tough guy. And the girls are swooning. Nothing but smiles all around. He is generating an overwhelming lust, as if he isn't aware of it. He knows he will be loved all his life and never abandoned. There will always be someone waiting for him, no one will ever try his limits. He'll always be forgiven. And if he is ever asked for an ounce of love he'll get terribly bored and leave. Then he'll be rewarded by other loving women who think he deserves better." ( )

The first around 80 pages are great. A road trip story focusing on four women from Middle Eastern countries is not something I come across every day. However, the structure is too messy and there are many unnecessary passages. Overall the book could use a thorough edit. It's sprinkled with some wonderful (and biting) commentary but that doesn't make up for the unwieldy structure. ( )