“Lydia is dead. But they don’t know this yet.” This book really keeps you sucked in as you learn about the past and present. Many deep moments during this book had me not wanting to put it down and kept my mind urchin for different scenarios.

This book is about a Chinese-American family in Ohio who found out their daughter is dead. They spend the story unraveling different stories from each family member’s perspective to piece together why she died. They face adversity and hardships that bring them further apart as a family. But each member learns they can’t go through these times alone.

I like how throughout the book, every chapter was told through a different family member's perspective. This gave me a little backstory that I can piece together as I continue reading. Towards the end, you remember little details of another person that helps the story come together. Also in the book, the story changes timelines. So at the beginning, it is the present day, then it skips back to a couple of months ago, then to the parents when they first met, and then back to the present day. It may be confusing at times but it really helps you understand the actions the family members take and why. If you like to piece together different perspectives into the same story, this book is for you.

I think the theme of the story is based on identity and acceptance. Throughout the story, Lydia’s death makes each of the family members search for answers, about themselves and others. Some of them lose who they truly are by grief, hatred, and others. The ultimate goal, as a Chinese-American family, is to be accepted, whether in school, the community, in the family. They face many adversities that change who they are and who they want to be. The family tries to unravel all the mysteries by themself, when they just need to come together and realize that they are still a family, even without the glue that holds them together, Lydia.

I recommend this novel because of how impactful and meaningful every action is, although it may be hard to connect the storyline at times, so if you like problem-solving, mature, and powerful identity books, this may be for you.

*throaty closed mouth growl*
That’s it; I’m done with this genre of go-nowhere-reveal-nothing kind story that is many contemporary fiction novels.
What was the point of this book? To languish in the complexity of people and their relationships and the things forced upon them by others and society? Is that it? Pass.
Strong starting line that ultimately had no intention of delivering an incredible story after it.
The characters are aberrant and thinly developed.
The writing is the only redeeming part…

Some times life sucks, some times people suck, some times society sucks…and some times the book you choose to read sucks.

Everything I Never Told You is everything I never wanted to waste 10 hours of my life on…. ( )

Everything I Never Told You is the slowest-moving roller coaster I've ever been on, and I mean that in a good way.

As a victim of narcissistic parenting myself, I deeply appreciated how Ng portrays the complicated relationships in the Lee family. Each character is richly unique with a comprehensive history backing up why they are the way that they are. The characterization of Lydia in particular is so perfect - though we are privy to her thoughts and feelings, we never really get to know her, because she understandably lacks individuality.

However, based on my admittedly unprofessional understanding of personal development and social dynamics, I find that the birth order of the Lee kids doesn't quite make sense. Hannah, the youngest Lee, is so much more of a middle child. Middle children often receive less attention than their bookend siblings. As a result, they take on the role of peacemakers/middlemen within the family. This describes Hannah to a T. Lydia could be a youngest child, which makes sense to me, too, seeing as she does already get most of her parent's devotion and attention.

Moving on to my thoughts on the ending:


The ending really bothered me for three big reasons:
1) THE PACING: This book overall unravels in a lovely, slow, meditative way that allows you to appreciate each of the family's feelings and faults in turn. After all that slowness, the ending felt rushed. In just 10 pages, multiple deeply-broken characters abruptly come to terms with their sins and decide to officially change. These realizations are all largely unjustified. If the author was worried about dragging out the novel with a long denouement, she could have shortened the first three quarters and achieved, I think, a reasonable balance. Some of the scenes, like James's gift of the necklace to Lydia, felt like too much frosting on the cake and could have easily been omitted. Essentially, the ending of Everything I Never Told You undoes a lot of Ng's groundwork, which is a shame.

2) LYDIA: I hated the official, final reason given for her death; it makes the rest of the plot, as well as her character, pointless. Wasn't the whole narrative point of Lydia's suicide that it forced her family to consider what had gone wrong (not in a Hannah Baker way)? It made sense to me that Lydia would commit suicide because she gave up. Instead, we get this weird thing where she decides to change but dies in the process. Narratively, we don't need her to have found hope - the novel's focus was so clearly on those left behind and how they would search for hope in the wake of death. I don't think we even needed to know why exactly she chose to jump into the lake - the exposé on her family was interesting enough, and it would be fitting for the reader to never know any more about Lydia's final moments than any one else. And her deciding to try to swim to shore was so... stupid. No matter how emotional or exhilarated she was, it was still stupid and infuriating and took me out of the story. Such a dumb way to deal with a critical moment.

3) NATH AND JACK: Finally, I want to complain about specifically THAT ONE LINE at the very end when the author suggests Nath will eventually come to return Jack's feelings. I find this to be unfair to both Jack and Nath. On the one hand, we have Jack. It's pretty pathetic for Jack to be in love with the same guy for his entire childhood, but I didn't find that too unbelievable. But if we're to believe what the author's implying, then it seems Jack will continue to wait for Nath into adulthood. Every other character gets a major revelation at some point - where is Jack's? When does Jack get to realize his crush is futile, and he'd be better off moving on? Please, just let the poor boy grow up and find someone who loves him from the start! Jack doesn't deserve this, nor does Nath. If Nath is attracted to men, it potentially undermines his arc throughout the book. What I mean is, if Nath is gay/bi, it becomes easy to blame all Nath's aggression on his rejection of his own sexuality. Like the only reason he hated Jack was because he had feelings for Jack. Obviously that's not true - Nathan had an awful childhood, and it makes sense for him to be an angry guy. I'd be fine with him being LGBT (God knows there should be more representation), but his eventual romance with Jack serves no positive narrative purpose.
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Parents should not impress their own unworked-through issues onto their children; it can make the children suffer.

Lydia knew what they wanted so desperately, even when they didn't ask. Every time, it seemed such a small thing to trade for their happiness. So she studied algebra in the summertime. She put on a dress and went to the freshman dance. She enrolled in biology at the college, Monday, Wednesday, Friday, all summer long. Yes. Yes. Yes.

So every time her mother said Do you want ---? she had said yes. She knew what her parents had longed for, without them saying a word, and she had wanted them happy. Read this book. Yes. Want this. Love this. Yes.

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Beautifully captures the immigrant experience through a slow-burn family drama.

What's good:
- How Celeste Ng's articulates the loneliness and dull ache(??) that comes with being a visible minority is spot on. I've experienced this time and time and time again throughout my life. But witnessing the same thing through the eyes of another character and have that pain be internalized and then passed on to the next generation just made me choke up.
- The literary usage of Lydia's death as a starting point to explain how each parents' own struggles evolved to expectations that eventually kill her and tear the family apart was brilliantly executed. Each time I think of this story, I uncover a new (to me) way Celeste Ng was tucking in some sort of symbolism, foreshadowing, etc.
- The depiction of James' parents going through every back door and jumping through every hoop to get him the opportunities that every other kid in town has... and the shame that James has about that and guilt for being ashamed. DEAD ON. Even though James grew up in the 70s, switch the names and it could be my sister's experience in the 90s. It's still a reality for many first generation Chinese families.

What didn't work:
- Literally nothing. God bless this woman.
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