Roman historian Suetonius (40 AD – 115 AD) wrote The Twelve Caesars for the purpose not only of recording historical events but as a testament to the consequence of displays of virtue and vice. Vitellius who reigned as Roman Emperor for 8 months in 69 AD serves as a prime example of a weak man devoid of any moral sense or trace of philosophical wisdom. One wonders if such a debouched slob could ever learn from the writings of Cicero and Seneca. Below are quotes from the author coupled with my comments.

“For he governed the province with singular integrity during two years, in the latter of which he acted as deputy to his brother, who succeeded him. But in his office in the city, he was said to pillage the temples of their gifts and ornaments, and to have exchanged brass and tin for gold and silver.” ---------- Can you imagine? The people on the outskirts of the Roman Empire would have taken great pride in their temples with all the gold and silver. And to have a Roman governor rob their temples and, to add insult to injury, replace the precious metals with cheap imitations. This really speaks volumes about Vitellius’s character, or more accurately stated, his lack of character.

“He took to wife Petronia, the daughter of a man of consular rank, and had by her a son named Petronius, who was blind of an eye. The mother being willing to appoint this youth her heir, upon condition that he should be released from his father's authority, the latter discharged him accordingly; but shortly after, as was believed, murdered him, charging him with a design upon his life, and pretending that he had, from consciousness of his guilt, drank the poison he had prepared for his father.” ---------- What a father! First he murders his son than falsely accuses his son of planning to murder him.

The current emperor is assassinated and Vitellius’s prime rival commits suicide after being defeated in battle. Vitellius is proclaimed the new emperor. And how did he react? Suetonius writes: “So far his conduct deserved approbation, and was such as to afford hope of his becoming an excellent prince, had he not managed his other affairs in a way more corresponding with his own disposition, and his former manner of life, than to the imperial dignity. For, having begun his march, he rode through every city in his route in a triumphal procession; and sailed down the rivers in ships, fitted out with the greatest elegance, and decorated with various kinds of crowns, amidst the most extravagant entertainments. Such was the want of discipline, and the licentiousness both in his family and army, that, not satisfied with the provision everywhere made for them at the public expense, they committed every kind of robbery and insult upon the inhabitants, setting slaves at liberty as they pleased; and if any dared to make resistance, they dealt blows and abuse, frequently wounds, and sometimes slaughter amongst them.” ---------- Not an auspicious start for Emperor Vitellius. One senses Suetonius the philosopher aghast at the nasty turn of fate for the Roman people having such a brute as emperor.

“Vitellius confirmed by some late practices; having kissed all the common soldiers whom he met with upon the road, and been excessively complaisant in the inns and stables to the muleteers and travelers; asking them in a morning, if they had got their breakfasts, and letting them see, by belching, that he had eaten his.” ---------- Just in case anybody doubts the swinishness of Vitellius, Suetonius highlights the emperor’s routinely belching. In my mind’s eye I can also see him routinely grunting. And to think, the Roman Emperor was considered a god. How repugnant.

“He delighted in the infliction of punishments without any distinction of persons or occasions. Several noblemen, his school-fellows and companions, he invited to his palace, he treated with such flattering caresses, as seemed to indicate an affection short only of admitting them to share the honors of the imperial dignity; yet he put them all to death by some base means or other. To one he gave poison with his own hand, in a cup of cold water which he called for in a fever. He scarcely spared one of all the usurers, notaries, and publicans, who had ever demanded a debt of him at Rome, or any toll or custom upon the road.” --------- The ultimate nightmare – a debased pig of a tyrant with unlimited power combined with a thrust for revenge, cruelty and sadism.

“His head being held back by the hair, in the manner of condemned criminals, and the point of a sword put under his chin, that he might hold up his face to public view; some of the mob, meanwhile, pelting him with dung and mud, whilst others called him "an incendiary and glutton." They also upbraided him with the defects of his person, for he was monstrously tall, and had a face usually very red with hard-drinking, a large belly.” ----------- But, alas, there was another Roman general staking claim to be emperor. Events turned against Vitellius and he was publicly executed. What I find revealing is the way Suetonius describes Vitellius’s personal appearance and manors in such lurid detail. And what I find particularly alarming is how many men I’ve had dealings with and others walking the streets of American cities fit Vitellius’s description. Thank goodness none of these men ever wielded the unchecked power of a Roman Emperor!
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Roman historian Suetonius (40 AD – 115 AD) wrote The Twelve Caesars for the purpose not only of recording historical events but as a testament to the consequence of displays of virtue and vice. Vitellius who reigned as Roman Emperor for 8 months in 69 AD serves as a prime example of a weak man devoid of any moral sense or trace of philosophical wisdom. One wonders if such a debouched slob could ever learn from the writings of Cicero and Seneca. Below are quotes from the author coupled with my comments.

“For he governed the province with singular integrity during two years, in the latter of which he acted as deputy to his brother, who succeeded him. But in his office in the city, he was said to pillage the temples of their gifts and ornaments, and to have exchanged brass and tin for gold and silver.” ---------- Can you imagine? The people on the outskirts of the Roman Empire would have taken great pride in their temples with all the gold and silver. And to have a Roman governor rob their temples and, to add insult to injury, replace the precious metals with cheap imitations. This really speaks volumes about Vitellius’s character, or more accurately stated, his lack of character.

“He took to wife Petronia, the daughter of a man of consular rank, and had by her a son named Petronius, who was blind of an eye. The mother being willing to appoint this youth her heir, upon condition that he should be released from his father's authority, the latter discharged him accordingly; but shortly after, as was believed, murdered him, charging him with a design upon his life, and pretending that he had, from consciousness of his guilt, drank the poison he had prepared for his father.” ---------- What a father! First he murders his son than falsely accuses his son of planning to murder him.

The current emperor is assassinated and Vitellius’s prime rival commits suicide after being defeated in battle. Vitellius is proclaimed the new emperor. And how did he react? Suetonius writes: “So far his conduct deserved approbation, and was such as to afford hope of his becoming an excellent prince, had he not managed his other affairs in a way more corresponding with his own disposition, and his former manner of life, than to the imperial dignity. For, having begun his march, he rode through every city in his route in a triumphal procession; and sailed down the rivers in ships, fitted out with the greatest elegance, and decorated with various kinds of crowns, amidst the most extravagant entertainments. Such was the want of discipline, and the licentiousness both in his family and army, that, not satisfied with the provision everywhere made for them at the public expense, they committed every kind of robbery and insult upon the inhabitants, setting slaves at liberty as they pleased; and if any dared to make resistance, they dealt blows and abuse, frequently wounds, and sometimes slaughter amongst them.” ---------- Not an auspicious start for Emperor Vitellius. One senses Suetonius the philosopher aghast at the nasty turn of fate for the Roman people having such a brute as emperor.

“Vitellius confirmed by some late practices; having kissed all the common soldiers whom he met with upon the road, and been excessively complaisant in the inns and stables to the muleteers and travelers; asking them in a morning, if they had got their breakfasts, and letting them see, by belching, that he had eaten his.” ---------- Just in case anybody doubts the swinishness of Vitellius, Suetonius highlights the emperor’s routinely belching. In my mind’s eye I can also see him routinely grunting. And to think, the Roman Emperor was considered a god. How repugnant.

“He delighted in the infliction of punishments without any distinction of persons or occasions. Several noblemen, his school-fellows and companions, he invited to his palace, he treated with such flattering caresses, as seemed to indicate an affection short only of admitting them to share the honors of the imperial dignity; yet he put them all to death by some base means or other. To one he gave poison with his own hand, in a cup of cold water which he called for in a fever. He scarcely spared one of all the usurers, notaries, and publicans, who had ever demanded a debt of him at Rome, or any toll or custom upon the road.” --------- The ultimate nightmare – a debased pig of a tyrant with unlimited power combined with a thrust for revenge, cruelty and sadism.

“His head being held back by the hair, in the manner of condemned criminals, and the point of a sword put under his chin, that he might hold up his face to public view; some of the mob, meanwhile, pelting him with dung and mud, whilst others called him "an incendiary and glutton." They also upbraided him with the defects of his person, for he was monstrously tall, and had a face usually very red with hard-drinking, a large belly.” ----------- But, alas, there was another Roman general staking claim to be emperor. Events turned against Vitellius and he was publicly executed. What I find revealing is the way Suetonius describes Vitellius’s personal appearance and manors in such lurid detail. And what I find particularly alarming is how many men I’ve had dealings with and others walking the streets of American cities fit Vitellius’s description. Thank goodness none of these men ever wielded the unchecked power of a Roman Emperor!
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