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My husband is an alcoholic and altho he's trying, he occasionally goes on binges
My daughter hates him and does not want him at her house for family celebrations, nor will she come here if he's here.
He gets hurt and angry if I go without him but I want to be with my grandkids on holidays. It causes arguments and no one is happy so what to do? Sometimes I want to accede to my husbands desire to move south but I know my daughter would totally hate me for that. What is your personal opinion?
Unfortunately, as carptrash (interesting name by the way) said, you only have control over yourself, so exploring how to secure your own happiness is first priority.
Sorry for your heartache,
I might also suggest that you strive to move away from either-or thinking as in, either I am with my daughter and grandkids OR I keep peace with my husband. You may find a solution open up for you if you instead ponder, "How can I both be with my daughter and grandkids AND still keep peace with my husband?"