Relationships with animals?

What do we have to say about our relationships with animals? What I mean to say is "pets," although some people take offense at that term, but I use it to help establish what I mean: the animals that we live with, who grace our homes and burn themselves into our memories, living with us long after their bodies are gone.

It is a very tiresome world where one can't say the word 'pets' without thinking first. We need words for things: simple designations to aid communication. Some words are wrong, and must be changed; but others, really, I feel people are too sensitive about. (Whereas you, Theresa, are being sensitive in a wholly laudable way.)

I have had a series of cats - cats desired and cats owned. Two of the latter three deserted me for my stepfather. Yet the last one, now eight, is a daily delight; faithful, devoted, beautiful, almost without faults. He's an easy and comforting bit of company, very dear to me. When I got him, I was extremely ill, and taking care of my kitten was one of the only things that kept me going. I knew I needed the company, and some purpose I could compass; so, my mother agreed, and we got the kitten. I took a rare outing, to choose him. He's a pale, silvery golden American shorthair, genuinely beautiful in build, strong but graceful-looking. In honor of all great writing, and his own diverse character, I named him Shakespeare. While I grew worse, and he came to think my natural habitat was my bed, he followed me, brought toys to me, fetched if they went too far, came when I was sad, or called his name, and curled, warm and purring, with me, day after day, when I couldn't bear light or noise and even that small, comforting sound caused pain. So, when I couldn't read or bear human company, my cat stayed with me, comforted me; when I couldn't go out, and see any change or beauty, he embodied both, in the motion and mood of a given moment. During the years of recovery, he's learned to sit on my lap, follow me to the computer, and be pleased when I do spend an hour lying down, as I still need to, often.

It's comforting when I stay with family or friends who have good-natured pets, free from awful smells. :) Given the right pleasantness in the animal(s), I actually prefer it. My uncle and aunt, my father and his girlfriend, and my grandparents are all noteworthy in respect to loving their animals, and socializing/training them well. They may not be perfect, but they're immensely enjoyable animals.

Shame and embarrassment: two words, I see, pop up continually. But I'm going to leave them, because clearly they're the essence, and strongest tie, in my relations to animals. While I feel for them affection, compassion, amusement, respect, interest, they give me two things, preeminently: comfort and company. Interest and beauty, the former often tinged with amusement, come next.

We have two dogs and until recently a cat. I now want to get a kitten. The dogs are named Gordon Good Guy, and Tilly Twinkle Toes. It was love at first site but I have also grown to respect both Gordon and Tilly. Tilly has caused countless hours of extra cleaning, disgust, and repulsion, in addition to costing an enormous amount of money. Yet, she is part of our family and we love her unconditionally. They are both the same breed but very different. Their and all of our previous animals individuality has been a very good lesson for our family. It is helping me to teach my son about empathy, and appreciating their differences in both animals and people. I have recently read some articles about the mistreatment of cows that are to be slaughtered, and the conditions that they live in for their lives. I keep thinking about the cows, pigs and chickens and relating them to our dogs. Especially when I look into their eyes. I am now contemplating buying only organic for animal related products, or just turning into a vegetarian.

Do you think that different personality types think differently about their animal friends? What do you think that we, as INFPs, bring to the table on this? Do you find your relationships with animals are different from those of other people that you know?

#5 Not sure, but I think that the way I interact with my creature friends (oh, the euphemisms we use to avoid saying "pets") is a bit different than many people's. To put it briefly, I accept each one of their personalities, other than viciousness, and allow each of them to be themselves.

For instance, a friend once gave me a one-year old Abyssinian cat that had been abused as a kitten by young boys, shifted from "owner" to "owner," and was no longer placeable (read "salable"). The minute I let her out of the cat carrier the day she arrived, she ran under the bed and stayed there for a week (tho I assume she snuck out in the dark of the night to get the food I left her in the kitchen). Slowly, she got comfortable with me, then with my daughter, but anytime anyone else came to the door, she growled and, if I let them in, ran back under the bed. Eventually, after a year, she was okay with most visitors, but she absolutely did not like boys and only grudgingly tolerated men to a degree. She never became a "lap cat." If I even looked at her as if I were thinking of picking her up, she'd be gone like a shot ~ back under the bed, I guess. :)

The point is, by giving her unconditional love & allowing her to be herself, she repaid me immeasurably whenever she chose to sit on my lap (only when she wanted to, you understand, not necessarily when I wanted her to) and allowed me to stroke her fur. When we got a puppy, she established herself as its superior and never lost her advantage, even when Max grew to be 10 times her size! (She wasn't all that brave, though ~ when I got my African parrot, she was terrified of it. Used to run from it as it stalked her with its pigeon-toed walk. Max would just lie there, watching and grinning.)

#6: what a fabulous story.

Thanks. I really miss them.

I think the INFP temperament is very independent. Do you think this is why we accept independence in our animal companions?

Ha! "Very independent". Two words to describe me to a T! Yes, I do think it's why we can sometimes accept and enjoy others' independence - human or animal.

Mary, it does sound wonderful. Have you any pets, at present?

Might be interesting on another thread to discuss the issue of independence... do you think?

Yes, a discussion of independence would be just the ticket.

#10 Hi, Julie ~ Yes, I have 7 little fresh-water fish. They get all excited when I greet them in the morning and evening. It's cute.

They got mad at me last time I cleaned out their bowl and wouldn't "speak" to me for about two weeks. Every time I went near them, they hid in the plants. They've finally forgiven me, I think. :)

> 2 That's a very touching story, Eurydice. It's wonderful that your dear kitty friend was able to ease your suffering by providing love and companionship during such a difficult time.

As for me, I find animals (primarily cats, as I'm far too germ-phobic for a dog) to be a source of friendship and love nearly equal to that of a person. Each one has its own personality, likes and dislikes, etc., allowing you to get to know one another very much like another human being would do, with love and affection growing as a result. I had a cat named Mittens from the ages of 5 to 19: an enduring companion who left a permanent impression in my heart and mind with her devotion, sweetness, and, yes, kindness. She knew when I was unhappy and would do her very best to make me smile, but she also stayed by me during the good times, becoming an integral part of some of my happiest memories.

Do INFPs have a preference for any one animal?

I'm new here to LT and I am an INFP. I've always (since I can remember, and have some pictures to prove it) felt a special affinity with animals, both in my family and just in general. My mother loved to tell the story of taking me to the fair when I was about 3, and a man with an exhibit with a sow and her piglets asked me if I wanted to hold a baby pig. To his surprise, I certainly did, and though he tried to explain that it just wasn't possible, my mother had to take me away screaming and crying. Needless to say, it became a goal of mine to hold a piglet. That's a whole other story. At present, my pets are my family. My husband died in 2002, my kids are grown and gone, and my two cats and my two dogs (okay, and the birds I feed, and the squirrels and possums and raccoons that all eat the bird seed) are an integral part of my life. I've rarely not had any pets. I also volunteer as a transporter at a wildlife rehab center near me.