Sara Zaske

Sara tells her own story with this book about how she and her husband and young daughter move to Berlin Germany from Oregon. Sara finds herself in a country where parents give their children a great deal of freedom - much different than she was used to in America. Achtung (means caution in German) is how Americans react to many things their children do. Sara sets out to discover what it is like to raise children in a culture that lets kids think and act for themselves from a very young age. She speaks about differences in schooling, play, and freedom compared to children in America. She finds that German parents are raising their kids to have self-reliance. Something she feels is lacking with American parents.

I loved this book. I was introduced to it by a friend over here where I am living in Switzerland. My family is living in Basel which is right on the German border. Here the Swiss speak German (although it is their own dialect) and take on many of the traits of Germans when it comes to parenting. I was fascinated with this book because I see the exact same behaviors here in kids and adults that Sara saw in Berlin.

I have to admit I was a bit of a helicopter parent before moving to Switzerland last year. I have a daughter that is legally blind, a teenager who I wouldn't even think of letting go to the movies alone, and an 11 year old son who I still picked out clothes for on a daily basis. I quickly saw here that I could let go. I was introduced to a culture where 5 year old kids walk, ride bikes, or take trams/buses to school by themselves. I see kids playing at all hours of the day in playgrounds throughout the city and also riding their bikes after school without supervision. My eldest daughter has been shopping in the city with friends, alone. My legally blind daughter rides the tram to and from school each day without me as her escort.

And you know what I found? They didn't die. I let go, and they thrived. I see them making more and more decisions for themselves, and not relying on me to save them when they get into a sticky situation. (like getting lost or missing a tram). My 11 year old son takes the tram to and from school alone each day and walks about 10 blocks from the tram to his school. Without guidance.

Kids play outside here more. They aren't tied to their phones or their electronics. I don't see kids immediatetly pulling them out when they are together, or even alone on public transportation. I see them talking and laughing with each other. They are outside every day, no matter the temperature or the weather. And their parents are not with them.

We could learn a lot from other cultures about making kids into strong adults. One day - soon - I want my kids to live without me. I want them to be able to make decisions and not crumble and ask for help. I want them to be wordly and not sheltered. And I am thankful for the opportunity I was given to break free of helicopter parenting and letting go.

Check out this book. Especially my American friends.… (mais)

It's been a while since I've read and reviewed a parenting book, therefore, when my brother's wife recommended a parenting book with a catchy and interesting title, I took note of it. I decided to read "Achtung Baby: An American Mom on the German Art of Raising Self-Reliant Children" in Germany, during our trip to Schwarzwald (Black Forest), enjoying the perfect weather and scenery, while sipping my drink at the pool, German kids running around me (with a few Swiss, French and British kids added to the mix).

As a father of a 7-year-old & a 10-month-old living in Belgium, and frequently making trips to Germany and the Netherlands, I found the book more informative on what happened to USA in the recent years, rather than how Germans, particularly Berliners, raised their kids. I found the book not only very readable, but also it provided me with the perfect contrasts between Europe and USA. A striking theme of the book was the irony of the "freedom rhetoric" of USA, and how at the same time children were so much controlled by their parents, coupled with "parent's rights", and not much about children's rights (the Wikipedia article titled "U.S. ratification of the Convention on the Rights of the Child" sheds more light on it). Another striking point was how happy the author, a mother of two children, felt because of the social safety net provided for families, as well as the ability to take 2 weeks of uninterrupted vacations with her family (that she found 'luxurious').

What also drew my attention was how USA was pushing academic achievement, turning it to a kind of crazy race, even before the children started primary school: I learned from the author that "kindergarten is the new first grade" in USA, meaning that younger and younger USA children were expected to master a lot of reading, writing and math skills even before they started the primary school, and there were even 'exams' for some kindergartens. I know firsthand what such pressure does to kids, having been subjected to many exams and put into 'race' at a very early age when I was a kid back in Istanbul.

The part about "risk taking" of children can be considered the best part of the book: the author gave many examples about "dangerous" playgrounds of Berlin, and how it helped children of various ages gauge the risks for themselves and learn the take responsibility for their actions and their consequences. What I found revealing was the fact that the safer you made the playground, the more difficulties the children had estimating the risks, leading to overcompensating to have adequate excitement, which, in turn, led to more dangerous actions ironically!

I really liked this book, and can recommend it to parents both in Europe and in USA to understand the current trends better. Oh, and I'll always remember this book whenever I shout "pas op!", "wees voorzichtig!", or "dikkatli ol! yavaş!" to my kids. Who knows, maybe I'll even should less, and be more relaxed with those highly energetic kids, entrusting them to the legacy of human evolution a little more.… (mais)

Find this review and more on Between the Bind

The First is a unique story, explained well in the above blurb. The plot is well developed and the characterization is thoughtful. I appreciated that the First People were elitest's - which made complete sense to me as they are so much more advanced, intelligent, and powerful than humans. And then there is little halfling Violet, who is most definitely an odd ball - but an endearing one. Ms. Zaske definitely pulled me into her world of First's.

The First begins in high school...with mean girls. I'm not a big fan of the typical mean girl but SZ is a sneaky beast - able to frustrate me while constructing my connection with Violet and my innate desire to punch faces protect her from the above vom-bags.

SZ also surprised me when Cassie was included in the "mean girl" group. I actually enjoyed my initial dislike for Cassie, forcing her to not only win Violet's respect and trust but also my own. The change facilitated was realistic, which to me means that it took a some time for Cassie to be a trustworthy character after her initial lemming behavior.

But once the friendship between Violet and Cassie is real, you can really see the kind, protective, and honest young woman underneath the initial vapid teenage exterior. Cassie really had a depth to her that I enjoyed uncovering.

There were a few plot points that I didn't really think fit, or were too quickly paced to feel like the natural evolution of the story - for example, when Cassie began to research ways to use Violet's powers to bring her dad home from the Afghanistan. I felt like there wasn't enough attention paid to this - and because of it, the concept was almost unnecessary.

Overall, The First was an engaging read with a unique concept. Even with the minor editing flaws and some plot disconnect, The First is a book to add to your to-read shelf.… (mais)