North Morgan

I am having a very difficult time rating this book because I at the same time utterly hated it and absolutely loved it. I'm not sure exactly how this is possible, yet North Morgan somehow accomplished this.
To me the novel is very reminiscent of the gay classic "Faggots" by Larry Kramer. Not neccesarily in writing style, but rather in tone. They both have a very bleak and jaded view of the gay community; and while the nuances of the times have changed, the synopsis is the same: it's impossible to find love in this sex crazed, drugged up, party obsessed community of gay men.
I found myself getting very angry, very sad, laughing out loud, then rolling my eyes, throughout the entire novel, like an insane rollercoaster of emotions.
I hated the protagonist Konrad and yet, I felt for him every time someone else let him down. Though as soon as I felt bad for him, I realized that really, he didn't deserve sympathy because he was a drug addict piece of crap obsessed with masculinity that hated himself and continuously put himself in situations that he absolutely knew would lead to heartache.
I think this book is a glaring and painful reflection of so many issues in the gay community, some of which I have dealt with first hand. I know the gay scene he's writing about here, and have lived it, if not to the full extent his protagonist has. While I felt that the life Konrad was living was by far a very very extreme version of the gay scene, I definitely know some people who aren't that far off from the life he was depicting. And I've certainly had my fair share of exploits, that gave me just enough insight into the story that I could connect and understand.
Yet, the tone of the book was so abysmal I found myself just wanting it to end. There was clearly no hope for Konrad, so what was the point?
If Morgan's objective was to simply shine a light on how homophobic the gay community is, and how difficult we make it for anyone to really be themselves and find love, then he totally succeeded. If Morgan's objective was to write a character driven narrative with a lot of depth and development, then he failed. In the end though, whatever his objective was, he got a very mixed but powerful reaction from me, and isn't that what good writers do?
I am reminded of a quote that I try and live by which goes, "Never compare your life to that of someone's social media life because you are comparing your behind the scenes to their highlight reel." That to me, perfectly sums up this book.
In summation, this book is both awful and amazing, and unfortunately an all too real depiction of many of the issues the gay scene we currently are navigating through has. I only hope that those that read this take it with a grain of salt, and understand that while yes, this is definitely the dark side of the scene, there is a very beautiful and wonderful side as well that should be celebrated and embraced.… (mais)

It was not “easy” to read this novel mostly since, first I think the main character, Maine Hudson, is probably a little too much like the author, North Morgan, and therefore his troubling uncertainty of life feels too real, and second since I’m not sure that Maine will “exit through the wound” as the title states.

No, this is not a spoiler mostly due to the trick the author did, having the last chapter, 40, at the beginning of the novel. I firstly didn’t realize that and was almost thinking that chapter was the memoirs of some other character other than Maine, or maybe that of the same author, North. I was really convinced of that also since in that first/last chapter, the narrative voice is sexually “fluid”… meaning that his sexuality is not black and white, he is not gay or straight, but he is mostly navigating life (and sex) without frontier, and if a man wants to kiss him, the narrative voice will simple close the eyes and accept the kiss. Three or four chapters after I realized it was the same Maine on that first chapter (yes, I was a little slow), but the impression of being sexually “fluid” remained: Maine is in love (love is probably a too simple word to summarize what he feels for Sadie, but it’s the nearest in meaning) with Sadie, who is in a relationship with Guy, and so basically Maine shares Sadie with Guy, or maybe Sadie shares Maine with Guy.

Anyway this is not really a story centered on Maine’s relationship with Sadie or Guy; it’s more Maine’s journey through life, through the wound as the title suggests, and it’s really a painful journey (painful for Maine not for the reader). It’s a chronological recording of working days and weekends and how many drugs Maine has to take to allow him to go through all of them. Maine is not satisfied with his family, his job, his relationship… but this dissatisfaction is not something that is displayed with rage or rebellion, since Maine’s emotions are dumbed by all the drugs he is taking. Right today someone commented on the bio I posted of a gay celebrity of the past, Jacques d'Adelswärd-Fersen, who committed suicide on November 5, 1923, at 43 years old by cocaine and champagne; the comment was more or less, he had everything and wasted all of it. My reply was he was probably affected by the very common “mal du vivre”, an illness that usually falls upon the most sensitive souls. Maine Hudson is exactly the most likely man to be affected by such illness, I think that, deprived by the drugs, his soul would be too raw, exposed to the unforgiving world.

Now, don't assume that Maine is a poor soul, victim of everyone around him; Maine can be acid as vitriol, his interchange with friends and lovers are often based on how much you can attack someone else, some stranger who crosses their street (the fat girl in the swimming pool, the poor guy who chooses the wrong shirt...), but in a way, he is neither so lethal since mostly their victims are not aware of being the object of such attack. Again, I think this is a way for Maine to shelter himself, or maybe, noticing the flaws of someone else he will be able to ignore his owns.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/1907536078/?tag=elimyrevandra-20… (mais)