Wendela Whitcomb Marsh

I received a galley of this book from the publisher via NetGalley.

Independent Living with Autism is a book written for highly-functioning autistic individuals as they transition to adulthood and work through various issues of adulthood, at all ages. I am a parent of an autistic 14-year-old boy, so I approach this book from a different perspective. Reviews from autistic readers should be provided with more consideration than mine.

That said, I found the book to be quite eye-opening and sobering. I hadn't been sure what to expect, in truth. Would this be a book that wanted to blot out autistic identities, something that espoused the toxic viewpoint that autism is an 'epidemic' and equated with doom? To my relief, I found quite the opposite. Marsh's approach is thoughtful and considerate, from the way she approaches person-first language regarding autistic identity to incredibly inclusive gender terminology.

The book is organized into themed sections that follow the development of five fictional autistic characters. They feel incredibly realistic. Their ages and experiences vary wildly, as their ages go from 18 to 62, non-practicing in religion to devout Jew and Catholic, to asexual to divorced to happily married for decades. Every character makes mistakes, learns from them, and grows. This is such a great approach--the storytelling has a natural flow that makes the characters instructional without being annoyingly preachy.

The attitude is bright and positive, too. The book acknowledges autistic people often have intense interests--and celebrates those, while also saying that they shouldn't take over a person's life or dominate every single conversation. One of the characters, a middle-aged woman, found her obsession with soothing live videos of sloths taking over her life, and learned to grant herself sloth time as a reward. Another character has a deep love of the musical Hamilton--something my son also loves! The author demonstrates a deep knowledge of geek culture (another character is a Brony, and a Doubleclicks lyric starts a chapter) and she fully respects the importance it has in the lives of many on the spectrum.

This book has made me think about ways that I am coddling my son, even when it comes to little stuff, and how that isn't helping him in the long term. It makes life easier for me, sure--I get the chore done faster, or it's something I like to do--but I need to step back.

I will be buying a paper copy of this book to give to my son. I am also grateful it includes a nice bibliography of books and blogs also cited throughout the text. I will be doing a lot more reading, thinking, and modifying of my own behavior in the coming months--and encouraging my son to do the same.… (mais)