Ted Cunningham

We all deal with this issue of problems in marriage. The question is, how do we respond? Dr. Gary Smalley and Ted Cunningham give us some insights on the problems they faced and analyzed during years of counseling in their church and the result is this wonderful book. It is very well written, easy reading and funny. They describe using simple words all common issues that happen in a daily basis with a marriage couple with kids. Through 20 chapters they suggest very well defined roles, behaviors and attitudes that will help us turning our kid-centered home into couple-centered home and they could not stress more how important this change is for the kids. They go over the importance of laughing together, fighting together as a team, taking care of insecurities and enjoying great sex.
Definitely this is a book I would recommend to any couple that already have children or intent to have any in the future. It is a great asset to your permanent library. It is really easy reading. It took me about 8 hours to read the entire book.

This book was written by Dr. Gary Smalley and Ted Cunningham in 2010. It was published by Tyndale Publisher House also in 2010 and they were kind enough to send me a copy for reviewing through their blogger book review program.

You can leave a comment about this review on the review at my blog at http://booksandmoviesreviews.blogspot.com/2010/08/book-great-parents-lousy-lover...… (mais)

Fun Loving You: Enjoying Your Marriage in the Midst of the Grind is one of the best and easiest-to-read marriage books I have ever read. It was a free download for Valentine's Day, and a good decision.

Ted Cunningham is pastor at Woodland Hills Family Church in Branson, MO. He and his wife host an annual marriage retreat in Branson that touched the lives of people at our former fellowship in Southwest Missouri, and they tried to reproduce it in their own way every year. They are part of a center that try to heal marriages that are at the end of their rope. This book is a good preventative work to make sure your marriage doesn't reach that point.

Cunningham passes on wisdom he has applied from Gary Smalley, Emerson Eggerichs, and others. He uses Song of Solomon in a more succinct and much more accessible fashion than Tommy Nelson. (Differs from Nelson in his interpretation of various passages. I'm skeptical of both attempts to interpret, but personally prefer Cunningham's take). He passes on applicable ideas-- lists of activities and questions to ask your spouse-- that are marriage-strengtheners.

My wife and I often fail the "fun" test. It took me years to get Ted's point about my wife not being the "source of life," that I should want to alter or try to make different. He makes some good points about having God as our source of life and not being codependent. He addresses doubts about compatibility with the following quote from someone else:

"Character trumps chemistry and compatibility. Great marriages flow from character. A good match is a good start, but it will never sustain a thriving, intimate, and loving marriage. Only character does that."


He has a good word on anger:

"Anger has three primary sources: hurt, fear, and frustration. Anger is a secondary emotion. It's not a primary emotion. You always feel something before you get angry. Those feelings are amplified when your heart is closed."


We're called to have open hearts with our spouses. He also includes advice on cultivating the marriage ahead of raising the children:


"When we prioritize the child's journey about our own marriage's, we circumvent God's design for the heart."

"I pass on to my spouse and children what I have on my heart. I am 100 percent responsible for my heart and this journey."

The Cunninghams take a "daily delay, a weekly withdrawal, and an annual abandon" in order to keep their marriage charged. He recommends keeping the "weekly withdrawals" (ie: date night) free from deep serious discussion, save those for the daily retreats or other times. The family do devotions and scripture memory every day. The parents work to make their home an "En Gedi" of peace for themselves.

About 25% of the book is about physical intimacy and its role in the "fun" marriage. It's nothing deep, just quite a bit of insight into he and his wife's lives... as in too much information.

The closing chapters deal with the role of church in marriage, the responsibility the local church has in helping couples it marries keep their vows. The last chapter is on death, with an exhortation to finish well.

The weaknesses of the book, in my opinion:
Having lived in the Ozarks, I know his message definitely resonates with the small-town conservatism found there. It may be harder to apply if both parents are working full-time jobs with a lot of travel demands or lack the resources to create the "fun" time. Dave Ramsey is highly esteemed but there are some families who are already in financial difficulties that need more than the "rah rah" in this book. If your marriage is in deep trouble, or one spouse isn't a Christian, this book may not be what you need-- although he does give some insights into how he counsels couples who are separated that I think solid. I disagree with the advice he gives young people, to go ahead and get married and not wait until after college or "maturity." In Missouri, the average undergraduate student I had in class got married at a much younger age, often right out of high school, than my own peer set in central Kentucky. It's a cultural thing in the Ozarks. I saw this as causing more conflict and unnecessary hardship and regret than what I would consider prudent.

Great book, highly recommend. Giving it 4 stars out of 5.… (mais)

“Young and In Love” by Ted Cunningham

Finally! A book that is about something that has always weighed heavily on my heart! Marrying young, as God has intended!
This is a book about young people who have met, fallen in love, and want to get married. They do not want to delay their marriage just because they are young. They want to get married since they have both found that special person they know is right for them as a couple to marry, and are ready to spend the rest of their lives together, growing together as you do in marriage. They have been blessed by God in finding each other, and want to follow His rules about being together.
The Author, Ted Cunningham, happens to be a Pastor in a church he founded called Woodland Hills Family Church located in Branson Missouri. He wrote this book based upon his own life, beliefs, and what he practices in his church. He has a wonderful set of guidelines young people should consider and follow ‘before’ they get married, which I think is wonderful! (‘Anyone’ at ‘any’ age should consider and follow these guidelines, in my opinion, as this book applies to all people who decide to marry at any age, really.) This book’s message encourages marriage at a young age and gives terrific advice that should be followed by these young people who are considering and/or are going to marry.
This author/Pastor is for marrying at a young age if you have found the person you love and are mature and responsible. He feels you should not wait, but to follow God’s plan he has for us, because finding the one we love is a gift from God. We should take this gift from God and not risk losing it..
Before I even heard about this book, I have always had of the belief that Society, today, is just ‘not’ conducive to young people getting married, and this is the way the author feels. I have always felt God has marriage in mind for us at an early age because he has given us all these natural feelings we have at an early age, otherwise, they would not be there. These feelings are there and with us for a reason, which when you read this book, you will understand this even more so. I don’t want to give everything away in this review as this should be read by many people in hopes that supporting our young people getting married will become accepted more so than what it is currently. This author/Pastor has a great message to share about the benefits of marrying young. He does point out there are ‘foxes’ to watch out for, and they are not foxes in the terms of beautiful people. This you’ll have to read about as well. This advice he gives is incredible.
Teens and young adults are, in today’s Society, are made to wait and go through all this resistance from people, from the church, from society, from school (generally college) for their choice to marry and not give in to their feelings, as the Bible teaches us. It seems practically a set-up for failure to not marry young. You must follow Gods’ ways, and waiting to marry could potentially cause you to lose the gift God has given you; the one you love. Accept it. Don’t allow parents, the church, school, or other people and more hold you back. If you feel you are ready, responsible and mature enough for marriage, then get married. He continues on with saying waiting to get married for what? For us to become to set in our ways, to become almost selfishly to absorbed in our own ways and not honestly share our love with another person? He also says that today, with all this waiting until we have reached this milestone or that milestone in life, has turned us into a sinful world by putting marriage off, and almost last. We are ending up living together and/or having sex before marriage, all going against the Word of God, and I happen to agree.
The great thing this author/Pastor has is a guideline of rules/considerations that ‘should’ be followed for a healthy and successful marriage, (and actually, this can be applied to anyone at any age for marriage and even ‘during’ our current marriage.)
I have felt God has made us so we can marry young, have children at a fairly young age, and to ‘grow together through marriage’, and this is exactly what this book’s message is about.
This book covers all this and a lot more. It discusses a variety of the many different views on young marriage, the church’s views on young marriage, and this Pastor’s own views on young marriage, which are positive and many. He discusses age, privilege, and responsibility. Not just anyone can jump into marriage, as you have to be mature enough to take this huge responsibility. Even marrying at an older age does ‘not’ guarantee that it will work if you don’t have what this Pastor discusses you ‘need’ to have in order to make your marriage a success.
I think this is an excellent book for ALL young people and their parents to read together. Married people can benefit from this book as well. I believe this author wrote the perfect book to help end a lot of problems young people face by ‘not’ marrying young. There is so much more great information in this book, it really should be a must read for all parents and young people, even by society so they can start to understand the benefits of young marriage.
I am ‘very’ glad I got the opportunity to review this book with feeling the way I do about people getting married at a younger age and ‘staying’ married. When I saw this book was available for review, I HAD to jump at it to review it, as I felt it most likely supported my opinions of marrying young, and it does.
Sure enough, this book is not a disappointment at all, but an encouragement to many young people out there who ‘do’ want to marry and happen to be young.
*I received this book for “FREE” from The B & B Media Group, Inc., through David Cook Publishers, through their Book Reviewer’s Program in exchange to read this book and write a review about it. It is NOT required for my review I write to be either positive or negative, but, “of my own opinion.” I was NOT provided with “ANY” monies to accept this book, “NOR” to read it, NOR were “ANY” monies given to me to write the review for this book. All that was ‘expected’ of me was to enjoy the pure pleasure of reading it. Again, the opinions expressed for and about this book are ‘of my own opinion’. I am disclosing this information in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255, http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.… (mais)