Vanessa Baden Kelly

I received my Early Reviewers copy of this a year ago. I no longer have it an I don't remember much about it. I do recall reading it and thinking it didn't quite live up to the promise in the blurb: " Through a series of extraordinary, incisive, often-humorous essays, Emmy-nominated winning actress Vanessa Baden Kelly examines what the idea of “home” means to a Black millennial woman..." I don't recall that I found it particularly humorous. I do remember that I found nothing new or surprising to me.
I thought it was well written and might bring a new awareness to some people wondering about the experience of young black women in contemporary America. I also recall donating it to a library where it might get some well deserved attention.
But, obviously, I didn't find it memorable.… (mais)

Vanessa Baden Kelly writes insightful, thoughtful, profound essays on love, marriage, children, home, family, work, racism, writing, and more. Ms. Kelly adds context in each chapter and then connects it her subject. Her writing flows smoothly from context to the topic at hand with ease, allowing the reader to follow Ms. Kelly's points from start to finish. Her command of the language and her writing style synchronize which enhances her insights and thoughts. All of her essays are well written, but I really enjoyed her essay on "Miracle of Black Love." Ms. Kelly writes about black love from a historical, sociological context that is thought-provoking and something I hadn't thought about in her context. I highly recommend reading this book.… (mais)

Thanks to @threestoriespress and Library Thing for the gifted copy.

RELEASED: 5/4/2021 Far Away From Close to Home: A Black Millennial Woman in Prgress by Vanessa Baden Kelly is a collection of seven essays where she shares her experiences as a Black woman moving to Los Angeles while navigating marraige, motherhood, activism, gentrification and racism. Each piece gives you a glimpse into the Black experience in L.A., challenges perspectives and invites you to dig deeper to dissect topics such as Black love, community, solidarity and matters of every day life. As I got further into the collection, each piece forced me to stop and reflect on the ways that racism and white supremacy continue to shake the foundation of Black society and create roadblocks to healing.
The author essentially is giving us a glimpse into her life and how her identity was shaped through different life experiences. She tackles her own identity by exploring different aspects of personhood, the right to exist and live a full life and the ways that U.S. society silences Black people and forces submission and assimilation. But the very ideals that are placed on Black people don't save them or keel them safe. She is constantly searching for home and safety in L.A. but in America no matter you do, this is not afforded to Black people.

She lays herself bare in the pages and holds nothing back. She presents ideas in ways that keep you captivated in thought long after you're done reading. After each essay, I found myself talking to my husband about each new gem she dropped that had me reeling. Baden Kelly was born to write and her voice is unique, profound, and commands attention.

Her essay about Black Love was the one that continues to stay with me because of the connections she draws to history and the illusion that has been passed down to Black people. Black love is about survival.

🖤 "Black love in America- has never really had a chance to blossom at its foundations. For the survival of ourselves and each other it has traditionally been about caretaking and togetherness and two people's ability to rise above a station together".

🖤 "Black folks were robbed of that the moment we were brought to these soils. Everything is about what we can do. What we can give. What we can show. Even our love. They stole our miracle." In "Unreliable Narrator", she delves into her experiences in creative writing classes and having her stories shut down and being labeled unreliable. She talks about how white dominate these spaces and believe their perspectives are the only valid ones, yet they are ones whose experiences and views are most limited. 🖤 "If they have never heard of it, you must qualify to them why it is a classic. I have been conditioned to understand that other voices matter and to reconcile them with my own because I know how it feels to be silenced." In "Joggers", reflecting about Ahmaud Albery, she meditates on gentrification and the ways that Black people have to change their behaviors to stay safe in their own neighborhoods. 🖤 "A white neighbor means censorship, or your life could be at stake. They are the threats. If we do not censor who we are and assimilate to who whites want us to be to feel safe, it is a green light for oppression. A green light for death." I highly recommend that everyone read this book. It is a transformative experience and you will definitely gain a new perspective about the urgency of fighting for Black lives. You will not have the same mindset after you read this one.… (mais)

Stop - A meditation on the complexities of gentrification, poverty, and the racial aspect of urban living while the author intentionally rides the bus to give herself a different perspective on her city.

Sybrina, Gina, and Me - The author examines the terror of becoming a parents compounded by terror of becoming the parent of a black boy. Her own nascent fears and insecurities around parenthood are reflected upon through the prism of the experiences of two other mothers she came to know through the murder of their sons by the police.

Bloodline of a Name - The author reflects upon her family - both her blood relations and her found family. She didn't know her father while she was growing up and only learned of a possible candidate when he reconnected with her mother on Facebook. He offered to take a DNA test but ghosted her after his family threatened to disown him if he entertained this stranger's curiosity. Only after the birth of her son did she begin to pursue the issue again, hoping to learn more about her child's medical history. Although her lineage is eventually confirmed, she remains hostile acquaintances with her new found relations. This tense situation is contrasted with the grandparents who adopted her as their own because of love for her mother. The concept of family is examined in depth as well as grief and belonging.

Unreliable Narrator - The author recounts the repeated discouragement she received from White professors as she pursued her dream of writing. Whether it was dismissing Toni Morrison or labeling her an "unreliable narrator" because she wrote about her experience with racism. She recounts in exact detail, the experience of being othered, of feeling set apart or different than all her classmates because of how the man in authority reacted to her. And then she tells of overcoming these obstacles and learning to value her voice rather than the opinions of others.

Miracle of Black Love - A thoughtful post-mortem on a marriage and the cultural teachings that laid the foundations of its failure. The author closely examines and dissects the lessons she was taught in childhood. Although she thought she was living in a more modern and less gendered relationship, she can see that these cultural values have still molded her concept of how love should be. Although unaware of it at the time, she bought into a concept of transactional love that had her doing everything while her husband was free to just "show up". Even after she realized this, even after the other betrayals came to light, she still struggled to end it because of the weight she felt to uphold the gold standard of "Black Love".

Joggers - Once again the author discusses her reasons for moving from her predominantly Black neighborhood to a predominantly white neighborhood. She focuses the discussion on the day she first saw a white woman jogging in her neighborhood. It was a sign that her area was gentrifying. She realizes that to this lone white jogger, it might feel dangerous to be jogging in this neighborhood, and her concerns might be valid, but in a whole different way, the appearance of a white jogger means the safety of the whole neighborhood is deteriorating. Because all of her neighbors have a pact to not call police in order to keep each other safe. Now that white people are moving in, it becomes more likely that police will be in the neighborhood and all of them will be at risk. The essay then becomes a story of displacement and the alienation of living in a white area where one is constantly outside the norm. This feeling is compounded after the murder of Ahmaud Arbery, a black jogger who was chased and gunned down in the street by several white men. The author struggles with grief, betrayal, fear, and anger. She begins jogging with a purpose through her white neighborhood.

Texts with Chaz - The author shares intimate letters to a friend who has always supported her and given her good advice. The letters center heavily around themes of parenthood and especially being the mother of a Black boy during such terrifying times. She wrestles with difficult issues, issues of guilt, fear, and possible future disaster. She is horrified by the death of George Floyd even as she is encouraged by the response to them. However, she is afraid to let her young son engage with the protests. It's so dangerous. These letters are so raw and moving and personal and beautiful.… (mais)